Helpless (gxg)

XIII- A Kiss

This caused her to pause in her motions and I held my breath, trying to feel any sign of what she'd do next. I knew I surprised her and people taken by surprise were the most unpredictable kind of people. But after a moment, she continued to bring her hand up and down, up and down.

"Why do you say that, Willa?"

"Well, I um... I think I'm starting to see that he wasn't... good to me. At least, not in the right way. I think."

She blew out a huff of air. "I see. Willa, I've been wondering if you'd like to talk to someone about all of this."

My brow furrowed. "I don't understand. Who would I talk to?"

"Here in the pack we have a doctor who is also a licensed psychologist. If you agree, I think it would help you to go and speak to them."

"Why can't I just talk to you?" A strange, posessive fire flared in my belly.

"Because I'm too close to you. I can't be objective when it comes to you. I wouldn't be able to just listen without acting. They may also react to the things you say, but they won't be driven into a murderous rage."

I pause, thrown by her last statement and unsure of how to respond. "You- wait. You care that much?"

"Yes, Willa. I do."

"I mean, I do know- I know you told me, but that's... you'd kill for me?"

"I have killed for you."

A contemplative silence falls as I consider what to say. She beats me to it. "If you don't want to speak with them, it's alright. I just think that it may be beneficial."

"You really think it would help?"

"Yes, I do."

"Okay. I'll do it."

"You don't have to."

"I trust you, Tessa. At least, I want to. So I want to try."

Her hand drops from my back and I freeze, not wanting to move and see whatever emotion she had on her face, but she gently pries me off of her chest. She's smiling. "You are amazing. You are perfect. Just for me."

I ignore the pang that her words send through my chest, the heavy reminder of lies whispered to vulnerable ears, and give a small smile back. She laughs at my expression, nuzzling my cheek affectionately.

"May I kiss you?" She mutters against my face.

I consider it for a moment. Do I want her to do that? I don't know how I'll feel after, as Sir would only kiss me to... I turned away from that thought, instead looking at Tessa's lips. They looked soft and warm and I wanted to know if they felt like that, but... what if she didn't like it? What if she didn't want me to stay afterwards because I messed up? What if-

"Willa. Darling, come back to me." She had pulled away, a hand pressed gently to the side of my head in an affectionate gesture.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to... I um, didn't..."

"It's alright if you don't want me to. I understand if this is too fast for you."

"No! I mean, no. I um. I want to do... that. But um, are you sure you want to?" I peer shyly at her, afraid of her response.

"I'm more than sure, baby girl." She moves closer, our lips almost touching. I could feel her breath as she said, "I'm more sure of this than I have ever been."

And with those words, she kissed me.

I'd say it was magical, that sparks flew, but it wasn't, and they didn't. Instead, it was comfortable, somehow familiar and burning at the same time. It felt right, like that was where I was always meant to be, curled up with her and kissing those wonderful, wonderful lips. We didn't move, just pressed together, taking in the sensations. I was glad for that, worried that if she moved I would mess up. It only lasted a few seconds, but I still had to resist the urge to chase her when she moved away and tried to calm my panting chest.

"T-Tessa..." I was surprised by my own voice, the way that it moaned as I steadied myself on her shoulders.

"Do not make that noise again, Willa. I am not sure I will be able to restrain myself." Her eyes flashed, her pupils growing wider and the already suffocating green growing deeper, pulling me in. I realized what was happening. Her wolf was trying to take over.

I pushed against her, struggling out of her grasp and falling to the ground in my efforts. I frantically pushed myself backwards, only stopping when I thudded against the wall. I curled around my knees, hands pressed against my temples as I fought to keep the bars up, to keep them strong enough to hold her back.

"No, no, please, I'll do anything, just don't let her out..." The panic overwhelmed me and I felt my strength fading as she grew stronger, howling and slamming against her prison. Then Tessa was there, pleading with me to calm down, to let her help, to save her, and I couldn't hold on anymore.

She got out.

I held in the screams that tried to claw their way out of my throat as my bones cracked, breaking and reforming themselves within my body. I felt each hair sproud from my skin, tearing through and sprouting from places they shouldn't. Through it all, I was silent, the only thought repeating was can't let them hear can't get caught need to stop please please please

And then it was over.

We sat, panting, in front of Tessa. She was still next to me, but she wasn't touching me anymore. She just watched as we stood, shaking, on barely-used legs. We stretched, joints popping, before taking a few steps. We stopped, suddenly hyperaware of the fact that she was right there and she wasn't saying anything. She looked on, taking in my form. The disgusting, black fur that had grown from my body, taking over and destroying my already ugly body. But this was the one thing we were never allowed to do. He said he'd kill us. But he wasn't here anymore. She killed him. All I could do was hope that she wouldn't hurt us, too.