kik → a.i ⋆ c.h

42

TRIGGER WARNING
SELF HARM, DEPRESSION

Ashton stumbles through the crowd, squinting at the bright lights shining in his face wherever he went.

"Hey gorgeous, dance with me?" Ashton shudders as a stranger slurs in his ear, gripping Ashton's shoulder.

'No, sorry." Ashton pushes the stranger's hand away as he stumbles away.

Ashton makes his way to the bathroom, almost falling into the stall as he bends over the toilet.

He drank way, way too much; he'd admit that. As for why he even went to the club? He wasn't sure. He thought maybe it would be fun (regardless of the fact that it never is), or that it would distract him (regardless of the fact that it never does).

But the flashing lights and the drunk strangers falling in love to the same songs Ashton fell in love with Calum to, were too much.

Ashton blinks rapidly to avoid crying as he leans against the wall beside the toilet.

But the silence and the loneliness was killing him. He lets a few tears slip as a soft song plays through the speakers, the opposite of what was playing outside.

Ashton lets a few more tears slip as he thinks about the night he realized he was in love with Calum. It was on the same bathroom floor as he was sat in now, only this time he couldn't call Calum.

But Ashton didn't start sobbing until he realized that he was well and truly, completely alone. He had Luke and Arzaylea of course, but Calum was special. He was the acid to his alkaline, he was the only person Ashton trusted more than anyone else. He was the only person he wanted to call right now, but he was the only person he couldn't call.

So Ashton clumsily pulls out his phone, dialing Luke's number.

"Ash, it's two in the morning. Are you okay?"

"I know, I'm sorry." Ashton cries. "I'm sorry, I know- I know it's late, I'm sorry-"

"Hey hey hey," Luke says softly. "Take a breath, okay? What's going on, where are you?"

"E-Exchange, I'm sorry, I-I don't have anyone else to call- I don't-" Ashton sobs. "I'm sorry. You're all I have."

"It's okay, love. Take a deep breath. I'm on my way, okay? Where can I find you?" Luke asks.

"T-The bathroom." Ashton whispers. "I'm so fucked up, what the fuck is wrong with me?"

Luke sighs, a few tears falling from his eyes. "It wasn't your fault, Ash." He says gently. "There's nothing wrong with you. Now sit tight, okay? I'll be there in a few minutes."

"I'm so tired, Lu." Ashton sniffles.

"Yeah, it's really l-"

"No." Ashton shakes his head. "I'm so fucking tired of everything. I'm so tired of love songs." He cries. "I'm so fucking tired of love. I hate everything."

"I know, love." Luke sighs. "Love sucks."

Ashton drops his phone into his lap and pulls his knees up to his chest as he cries.

He was still crying when Luke burst into the bathroom and scooped Ashton up from the floor.

"Hey, let's get you home." Luke says softly, grabbing Ashton's phone and sliding into his back pocket. He leads Ashton out of the club and to his car.

"I miss him so much." Ashton mumbles as he leans against the window of the car.

"I know." Luke replies.