kik → a.i ⋆ c.h

28

a/n-so before i start, and this absolutely could not wait until the end because i'm screaming, i just read back and in ch. 18 when cashton are talking about luke calum's like "go end it with luke then bring me pizza" and i just realized that calum never got his fucking pizza

-T R I G G E R W A R N I N G:

SUICIDE, MENTAL BREAKDOWNS, SELF HARM, DEPRESSION;

READ CAREFULLY-

     "Good morning." Arzaylea chirps as Luke walks into the kitchen.

     "Good morning." Luke mumbles, shuffling towards the coffee maker. "If it is a good morning, which I doubt."

     "Stop quoting eeyore and make your coffee." Arzaylea rolls her eyes. "How'd you sleep?"

     "Shitty." Luke sighs. "Kept dreaming we named the kids after the twins on Riverdale."

     "Oh god." Arzaylea laughs. "Juniper isn't that bad though."

     Dagwood." Luke stares at Arzaylea.

     "True; but I kind of meant how are you doing, as in: did sleeping for once help you stop considering killing yourself?" Arzaylea asks.

     "I guess." Luke shrugs as he sits down at the kitchen table.

     "I'm going to need more than that." Arzaylea crosses her arms.

     "Fine." Luke huffs. "No, it didn't help. I still want to slit my wrists or something. Happy?" Luke raises his eyebrows.

     Arzaylea looks away from Luks, tears welling up in her eyes at the thought of how much pain Luke was in. "Please don't." She mutters. She shuts her eyes as she sighs, a few tears slipping from her eyes. "I don't- you're worth so much more than that."

     "Thanks." Luke chuckles. "But I'm really not."

     "You are though." Arzaylea sits down at the table.

     "Why are you so goddamn supportive all of a sudden?" Luke mumbles.

     "What?"

     "Nothing." Luke says.

     "Why won't you accept the fact that all of us are terrified for you and we're doing everything we can to make sure you're okay?" Arzaylea asks.

     "Calum I understand, but you never fucking cared until the kids were involved." Luke snaps, standing up from the table. "You never gave a shit about me or my mental health until you found out you were pregnant and now you're all supportive and caring, so what the fuck? Just drop the fucking act and stop pretending you care."

     "I'm not pretending, you dick." Arzaylea scoffs, standing up and walking over to him. "I care about you and I especially care about our kids having a father. What the fuck am I supposed to if you kill yourself somewhere in the future and my kids ask where their dad went? How the hell am I supposed to explain that to them? Do you want your kids to grow up wondering what happened to you? Do you want them to only remember you from pictures and stories? Because that's where you're heading, asshole, and I want to help you but you're being stubborn as fuck and I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I've talked to both Calum and Ashton and they're telling me to give you time but I'm scared if I give you more time I'll come in one day and find you dead on the floor. And I- I can't- I'm not doing that." She sniffles, wiping her tears.

     "You're not doing that?" Luke rolls his eyes.

     "If you want to end your life because you made one mistake, then go ahead and fucking do it." Arzaylea snaps. "But before you do, think about the fact that it's not the goddamn end of the world and you don't fucking deserve that and you never will. You deserve to be happy and I'm sorry you can't see that. If you need me, call me and I'll be over in ten minutes." She pulls her shoes on and grabs her things, slamming the door behind her as she walks out.