oak trees // misfits

A D M I R E

kritz

kryoz x fitz

- im so tired

—|—

john watched as cameron laughed—throwing his head back and crinkling his eyes. john's heart fluttered at the sight, what a beautiful sight it was. small beads of sweat had collected on his forehead, glistening in the neon lights that danced around the room. cam spoke with matt and toby. all three of them smiling widely and yelling over the loud music.

john downed the rest of his drink. he couldn't remember what he had gotten, but it was strong. the alcohol already making him dazed. the drink left a bitter aftertaste on his tongue— so he ordered some tequila to drown it out. he glanced at cameron before he swirled the drink. his hands spinning in a small round motion, and then downing the shot. john only did a small cough and scrunched his face up. he looked at cameron again, who sat in a booth across the bar. both his arms were placed on the table, one propped up as he spun the straw to his drink. the other clutched the bottom of the glass. under the booth his feet were together while his knees were a bit away from each other. cam and his long ass legs— john chuckled at that. his eyes were locked on toby as the boy seemed to speak passionately. a smiled was permanently on his lips.

the other blond sighed and turned back to look at his hands, which were fiddling with the other. ezra, jaren, and himself had come to visit the misfit boys. ezra came mostly so he could spend more with his boyfriend, mason. john knew jaren had the biggest crush on toby, but he seemed to have run off with a girl. most likely after seeing toby so happy with others and not paying attention to him at all. it was heartbreaking to john, his best friend being so distraught and hurt.

bored, john pulled the pack of m&m's from earlier out of his pocket. he pulled a blue one out and put into his mouth. blue was cam's favorite color. specifically sky blue. cameron had yelled at the boys many times for getting it wrong. john put another candy into his mouth and another thought popped into mind. he wondered what cam tasted like. did he taste like the chocolate m&m's he had pulled from the bag moments ago? or maybe he tasted of bitter alcohol from the worlds most expensive bar. (seriously though prices was outrageous.) john sighed at the thought of cam's lips against his own. his lips stung from the thought of it. oh how he ached to be touched, innocently or not. not touched by anyone though— by cam.

his greens eyes moved towards came again. john had caught him in the middle of a laugh. his head thrown back and eyes crinkled a bit, just like earlier. a familiar bright twinkle in those blue eye of his. once his laughing fit seemed to end his eyes locked with john's. both boy's breathing hitched. cam smiled warmly at him, and john smiled back. cameron broke the eye contact and looked back at toby. his eyes seemed to tear john apart as he looked away. like cam just pulled a thread and john unravelled and fell to the floor— a lump of thread. as his eyes focused back onto toby john almost stared to tear up. those gorgeous blue eyes, his favorite feature of cameron. their blueness made the ocean and the sky jealous. no one could compare to cam. he was far from perfect, but he was the definition of perfect to john.

yet he couldn't have him.

this isn't a fairytale. cam isn't going to walk to john, with perfectly timed strides. and then confess his love. he isn't going to come sweep john off his feet and kiss him until john can see stars. it wont happen and john knows it, yet he always had a sliver of hope.

john stole one last glance at cameron. he was in the same position as before, a small smiled on his lips. he took a drink from whatever alcoholic beverage was in front of him. cam's pale face was a bit red— probably due to them walking around melboure and being in the sun for to long. john noticed toby wasn't there. for a split second he forgot about cameron and wonder where toby had gone. but those thoughts disappeared as his eyes caught cam's again. this time he didn't give cam the chance to smile. john looked away quickly. he'd got staring again, now cam would think he's weird.