My Hijab,Jake and I.

Chapter Seven/harder and harder

Jake

It's day Four of our project gathering at Natasha's house and boy am I finding ever minute difficult there. The fact that me and Medina are doing everything to avoid each other in such close vicinity is taking its toll on my mental health. All I want to do really is just stare at her like a obsessed weirdo and just to take her in my arms.

When her fingers accidentally brushes against mine whilst we share the task of completing and adding detail to our lion statue, I have to excuse the room and go to the bathroom to better control my dic...er emotions. The last few days have been draining. The only relief [ sorry pun not intended] is we are are nearly finished. The four have us are working non stop to complete our work for we know that Mr sloan Is very hard to please and the grade will do me wonders in particular.

''Jake. Can you pass me the cotton swabs please.''Natasha's voice brings me out of my thoughts.

''Sure Tasha. Here you go'. I hand her the roll of swab that we will use for the mane of the lion.

I chance a glance at Medina to see she is researching the history of our chosen creature. She is concentrating on her task and she has her nose scrunched up. My stomach flutters at the action. Shit. I force myself to turn away and I'm caught out by Sophie and Natasha who are both looking at me with pity in their eyes.

Natasha shakes her head at me silently and gestures for me to continue with the work at hand. Sophie on the other hand just smiles at me and continues painting. Damn. Is it that obvious, am I that far gone that the girls have clocked on to my feelings. I guess I wear my emotions on my face. I can't help it though. I wish I could handle it better but it's just getting harder and harder everyday.

''Hey guys''. Medina turns around from the computer with a happy expression on her face.

''I've printed the more relevant material we need. Maybe we should attach these in a fun way instead of just writing it in a boring text'' She suggested ,looking at the other two but totally avoiding eye contact with me. Ouch.

''Well''. Sophie prompted. ''What do you suggest?"

''I'm thinking we should create like a brainstorm bubble around the statue. Like colourful little banners and then attached strategically  around various parts of the lion in chronological order''.

''Girl'. That sounds fantastic. We will start on that tomorrow. Right now I want me some food''. Natasha looked at each one of us questionly.

''Food. Glorious food.''I shouted. ''I'll order pizza''. Yep. Gool old pizza can't go wrong. Medina loves Pizza. Shit. Maybe to obvious.

''Pizza's good guys. Let's clean up. Jake do the honours of ordering. Use the landline upstairs''.

Natasha said looking at me with another dose of pity.

Leaving the girls to it, I make my way up the stairs but not before I can hear Medina cleary stating to the girls. ''Not a word. Not a single word.''

Mhmmm. I guess I'm not only one getting meaningful stares from dear old Nastasha. Maybe Medina must have said something to the girls. They are very close. I would loved to had been a fly on the wall on that conversation. Yep. I think we have already established that I'm a obsessed weird creepy guy.

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A couple of hours later of stuffing our faces with pizza and watching a few random garbage on the t.v it's time to go home . Medina has decided to walk it to the bus stop but I'm having none of it. I know she wants to avoid me but I tell her that I'm not going to let her walk late at this hour. Tasha offers to drop us home, but we both declined stating that walk would do us good after our huge intake of pizza.

''JW you can't walk with me''. Medina says to me quietly, avoiding eye contact.

''Why not. We live on the same street and...''.

''JW. You can't walk with me because it is not right for me to walk with you.''She replies patiently.

''What's not right Medina. People know that we are neighbours and that our families are close.''I reply with a hint of anger. God. Does she hate me that much.

''Er thicko. She means that it's against her religion to be seen walking with a man that is not an immediate family member.'' Natasha says to me slowly as if talking to a child.

''Thank you Tasha. I'll see you tomorrow. In sha Allah.'' Medina hugs Natasha with a smile. I feel a stab of envy. She heads out the door without a backward glance.

I Try to head after her but Natsha practically held me back with a vice grip on my hand stopping me. We both stare at each other. She waits me out and eventually I can't help myself.

''What is your problem Tasha.? I need to go after her.'' I shrug of her grip with a scowl.

''Listen here Jake and listen hard.''She grips my hand but more gently. ''Leave her be. You know you're making things extremely difficult.''

''I don't know what you're talking about''. I reply quickly avoiding eye contact. I did not want her looking into them for fear what she may see in them.

''What do you want Jake? Talk to me.'' She quietly says with a hint of pity.

I frustratingly pull at my hair. What do I want? Medina of course. I want her so much but I don't want to push her. I don't want her to hate me if I do. I rather be a love struck fool from afar then have her looking at me with dislike.

''Just let it go Tasha.'' I say quietly, hoping she would listen. But no this is Natasha Henderson we are talking about. I pity the poor fool who ends up with her.

''Listen Jake. I love you. I love Medina. I hate to see the both of you miserable as shit. It's...''

''Wait! What do you mean both of us? I'm the one who is miserable as shit here. Why would Medina be fe....''.

''Jake my boy, you are so blind and stupid. I don't want to say anymore. I think I have already put my foot in it. So....'''

''Oh come on Tasha. You wanted a heart to heart so let's talk. Is Medina feeling miserable because she feels the same''. My stomach clenches as I wait for her answer.

Rolling her eyes, Tasha smacks me behind my head. Ouch. What the hell?

''Look you idiot. It doesn't take a genius to see why the two of you are avoiding each other. Not to mention the fact that I know the two of you very well. So that's why I'm telling you to give her space. I guess it was pretty stupid of me to ask you to join our group.'' She finishes with a frown.

''Well don't regret that. I don't. Julie would have seduced me already. She is pretttyyyyy persistent''.

I shudder at the mental image.

Natasha laughs at me. Shaking her head she hooks her arms around me and looks me straight in the eye. Uh oh. What is she thinking? Serious Natasha is quite scary.

''Jake. I know how hard it is for you. For the both of you. We love medina and we have to respect her wishes. Her faith is her main focus these days. I found it very difficult in the beginning to see her change. But I've finally accepted it. Maybe you should do the same''.

I feel tears sting my eyes. How can I do what she is wanting from me. This love shit really fucks you up. I wish I can just turn my feelings off. I wish that the line between friends and wanting something more had not blurred for me. I wish. I wish. I wish.

Nodding my head at her I just let her embrace me and we stayed like that for a few minutes. The good friend she was she didn't needed my reply. Maybe I had to up the ante so to speak. Yes I need to think of way to distance myself without hurting Medina in the process. Even though what I was thinking was going to hurt me more than anything.