My Hijab,Jake and I.

Thirty Five/Taking matters into my own hands

Medina

My heart was in my mouth throughout the whole journey. Sarina drove me there with my parents. I kept on reciting the calming soothing words from the Quran again and again. It kept me in control and prevented my mind from  thinking further. 

On reaching the hospital I quickly fled from the car and made my way inside. I looked across and headed to the enquiries desk, where I had to wait as someone was in the que.

Come on Medina..Keep a hold of yourself..everything is Allah’s plan and In sha Allah all will be okay.  

“Yes..Can I help you?”. The receptionist asked me, and elderly woman with a kind smile.

“Yes!..yes!.. My husband Qumar Abbassi..he was in an accident.”

She tapped away at her keyboard and looked back at me.

“Oh yes..If you can just go down that corridor and turn left he will be in that area.”

I thanked her and rushed off, relief suddenly washed over me. If he was seriously injured there was no way that they would have let me see him.

I turned left and came across some individual rooms. Qumar was in the third one. I went in and rushed to his bedside. He looked up and a smile spread across his face. 

I  engulfed him in my arms. It was then that my tears decided to make an appearance. He put his arms around me and whispered reassurances in my ear.

“Medina..Stop crying dear..It was just a small accident.”.

I pulled away from him and looked him over.

He had a stitches done across his right eyebrow that would definitely leave a scar. His left arm was bandaged and apart from minor cuts peppered across his face he seems alright.

“What happened? You drive like an old grandma..so it must have been the other driver’s fault”. I smiled at him wiping away my tears.

“Uh ..I do not drive like a grandma as you so kindly put it..I’m offended.”He pretends sulking.

“Uh yeah you do..but forget that ..what happened?”

“It's a long story Medina..I’m tired ..I will tell you later”. I sense that his avoiding my eyes. The way he refuses eye contact is a big clue. I decided to let it go ...for now.

“Okay..but I want to know later..Now how are you f……”

“Thank Allah your okay son”.Abu Jan barges into the room, followed by Mamma and Sarina. 

They crowd around the bed, Offering him words of comfort and I see that my loving Qumar is basking in it all. I smile to myself. His such an affectionate man. He offers it and also loves receiving  it. I send a silent prayer up to my lord. Thanking him for keeping him safe.

Jake may have entered my life. He may have my love but Qumar will always hold a special place in my heart. I know what  leaving him will entail. If we do divorce our relationship will never be the same again. I know I can't have both and I know that now that I know what I know about Jake, I don't think I can stop myself from being with him. There is no excuse, no obstacles or barriers so to speak in our way.

But I want Qumar back on his feet. I can’t and won’t leave him in this state. I want him to fully recover. He may laugh it off but he could have died. Death is unpredictable and you never know when your time is up.

My phone started to ring and I quickly walked out of the room when I see the number on the screen.

“Thank God Medina..How is he?” Layla sobs on the other end of the phone.