My Hijab,Jake and I.

Thirty Seven/facing reality

Medina

Layla and Kadin have decided to spend the day with Qumar at our home so I also invited Aunti Bano over. The woman is head over heels in love with her grandson, who is almost the spitting image of her son.

Seeing them all together my smile is bittersweet. They look so good together, all four of them, almost the perfect family if Uncle Jamal stops being so stubborn. How can he resist my beautiful boy Kadin. That boy is just like his father. So sweet, adorable and very easy to love.

I know that my time has finally arrived. With the revelation of Layla and Kadin I don't need to continue anymore. My time with Qumar has come to an end. My heart flutters and the pain is real. The last four years has been absolutely wonderful. The two of us have created lovely memories together, memories that I will forever cherish.

Today I let them enjoy this day with me in the picture, later tonight I have to sit Qumar down and finally ask for the thing that he seems to be avoiding. Lately he's been changing the subject when I want raise the matter up. My husband thinks he can fool me but not for long, I can’t play along no more. 

So tonight's the night when I ask my husband of four years for a divorce. I want him to finally accept his real family. Uncle Jamal is not on board with this but the fact that Auntie Bano is gives me tremendous hope. He has forbidden her from seeing Layla and Kadin but she has finally defied him in their thirty years of marriage and Uncle Jamal has had a wake up call. He loves his wife very much and in due time there must be a way she can get him to accept them. She's a very patient women just like her son and I guess she is finally waiting for him to get off his “high horse “her words exactly.

*****

“Qumar”. 

We are sitting together watching some random stuff on Netflix.

“Yes Dear”. He is watching the telly but looks at me when he senses my serious tone,

“I think the time has come for you to finally let me go”. I quickly blurted out for I know that his good at interrupting me.

He continues staring at me and then lets out a huge sigh. He grabs my hand and brings it up to his lips.

“Do we have to talk about this right now Medina dear”. He replies softly playing with my fingers.

“Qumar..It's been a couple of weeks  and you’re doing much better. I th….”

“Medina...Please!..Not tonight. Can we just cuddle together and deal with it some other time”.

“No Qumar!!...I can’t carry on like this ..we keep putting it off..I just want you to realise that you don't have to hide no more, you don't have to hide behind this facade of a marriage an…”

 Qumar puts his finger on my lips to prevent me talking any further. Tears fill my eyes and I see that his choking back a sob.

“Never.ever...call our marriage a facade Medina. The past four years have been amazing and I don't regret one single day of it.” He crushes me to him and releases the sob his holding back.

I hug him back just as fiercely both of us sniffling. A few minutes later we pull back and stare at each other’s tear stained faces..

“Look at us, We make  a right pair don't we?”. Qumar wipes away my tears.

“I love you Qumar Jamal Abbassi”. 

“I love you too  my beautiful Medina Jahan Abbassi. I’ll always will. I’ll miss all of this my dear..The netflix binges, your delicious cooking, your blushes and especially your hugs...Oh my lord how am I ever going to hug you when I feel the need’’ He looks absolutely mortified and saddened at the thought.