My Hijab,Jake and I.

Chapter Twenty Two/Why

Seven years ago

Jake.

I wake up to the laughter of children playing and smile. I rub my hands over my face and getting out of bed, I make my way to the window. My smile widens further when I see a group of boys playing football. The excited faces and cries are contagious and I find myself cheering them on from my window. They look up at me and waved vigorously.

‘’Mr White...Mr White ..please come and join us’’. They shout up at me.

Well who am I to refuse a game of footie and soon and in no time at all the lads and me are at it. Damn these little buggers are good. Their  speed and skills are so raw. They barely twelve but they sure are teaching me a few things. I remember myself at that age and no where was I even close to being as good as them.

We continue with the game until I had to take a break. Bloody heck I’m worn out and waving them goodbye I decide to take a quick shower. Which consists of going down the path for ten minutes until I come to the lake. Stripping down I jump in.

The water is cool and I take advantage of it as eventually during the day it will warm up as the weather here is like hell on earth. Closing my eyes I position myself on my back so I can stare at the blue sky and let my body and mind drift.

*****

‘’Hey Jake..What you’re doing out here on your lonesome’’.

I look up to see Lisa smiling down at me. I return her smile and she takes a seat next to me.

‘’Hey lisa..Just enjoying the view’. I reply whilst letting my eyes scan the lush beautiful scene before me. She sits with me in silence for a while.

‘’Why is it that the most beautiful countries on earth have the most horrible and vilest things happening in them Lisa’’? I ask her quietly.

She sighs and ponders for a while. She is a very intelligent woman and I've grown close to her over the months. She reminds me so much of mom.  

‘’Oh Jake..If we had the answer to that then we won’t be sitting here in this beautiful country doing what we are doing.’’ She replies warily.

‘’I thought I was doing good but it’s not enough Lisa,  I feel so bloody useless and I ….’’

‘’Stop. Jake you should never feel that way ..ever. ..You being here is more than enough, it shows that you care. You didn't had to come but you did and you are at least doing something. Never feel that you aren't’. She grabs my hand and holds on to it.

‘’I thought it would be easy, but it’s not. When I see the kids out there I feel such a sense of despair for them. I’m thinking what is in store for them, whats next.’’

‘’Jake..volunteering for places like here is no easy task believe me on that. I remember My first voluntary work. I was about your age or a bit older. My father took me on one of his missions. I remember I was so excited thinking it was going to be an adventure..but the moment I set foot in the place ,I couldn't believe my eyes. There was so much death and destruction.’’

I look to see that she has tears in her eyes and I squeeze her hand to reassure her. She smiles at me and brushes a tear away. I stay silent for I know she is not finished.

‘’I wanted to leave straight away and go back home. I couldn't handle it. The children were the worst. There is no bigger horror than seeing the body of a lifeless child in a mother's arms.That gut wrenching, soul shattering agony of it all.’’ She wipes away a tear..’’But I made a vow to myself on that spot, no matter how futile, no matter how senseless and never ending it will be I will give it my all. My father dedicated his life to it and here I am almost 30 years later.’’ She finishes turning to face me again.

‘’Remember Jake..Life is unpredictable and hard. It's not going to pan out as you want it, I guess that’s why the villagers here are so dedicated in their beliefs it gives them something to hold on to, its gives them hope and as long as you got hope then there is...hope’’.

I look at her and she never ceases to amaze me. Lisa has seen the most deprived side of humanity, she has gone to a places where very few will ever step and she still sees the good in humanity. Her words are just what I need. She is a balm to my conflicted heart.

‘’Thank you Lisa..You always manage to pull me out. Your an angel do you know that.’’ I beam at her.

‘’Well I wouldn't go that far’’..she chuckles’’ But at least your smiling again, you should do it more often..Is there something else that's bothering you Jake?’'

Shit..What  do I tell her she’s so good at reading people. I feel an urge to tell her everything. About Medina about my shattered heart about the fact that even if I’m on the other side of the world she still is embedded in my heart, mind and soul. I want her out but the stubborn fool stays true to her character and still manages to have me in her grasp.

So I turn to Lisa and tell her everything, She sits and listen to it all. When I'm finished I feel a load has been lifted and just for a minute I’m free. Free from a Hazel eyed beauty who I know will haunt my dreams and thoughts for as long as I exist but for now I enjoy the respite and make the most of it.

A/N: Double whammy today guys ..enjoy

Voting and commenting is much appreciated

xxxx