wings of freedom | aot x reader

Rhetorical Thoughts

Chapter 10

    "Excuse me... Sorry." You mumbled apologies as you pushed the way out of the heap of bodies, grasping onto the quick breaths that weren't enough to calm your lungs that were fighting the suffocation of air.

    The thick smell of blood, both from humans and titans, was making you incredibly nauseous and unable to keep up the work. After running to an isolated corner, you kneeled down while leaning at a few ammunition boxes to your right. Your stomach started churning, a sensation rising at your esophagus.

    A hand gripped your ponytail, keeping any strands of hair away from your face. You opened your mouth, vomiting a peculiar and disturbing substance out. Observing it only incremented your disgust. A vast feeling entered your stomach as soon as you let it all out. While clutching your now empty belly, you stood up and noticed Connie's presence behind you still gripping your hair.

    "Are you okay f/n?" He asked carefully, finally freeing your ponytail and placing a hand above your shoulder. You gave out a weak smile, granted for his concern.

    "Yes. Thank you Springer." You said, deciding to take a seat until your energy was fully restored, which apparently would take some time.

    You looked around, cupping a hand close to your mouth as you watched in horror various soldiers in a similar state, trying hard to avoid another puking session. A few were even lying on their backs, tired of witnessing their comrades' death. Perhaps tired of being defeated by brainless creatures that had no real purpose of doing such baleful things to humanity.

    A certain, indescribable anger flowed through you every time a specific bald, drunken bastard crossed your view. Nevertheless, you gulped down the indignation Dot Pixis caused you for murdering thousands of lives in vain. The old man stood straight, looking out onto Trost District with no remorse while a red smoke was shot into the air, indicating the sign of failure.

    "What is going on inside that man's head," You mumble, wiping any leftover on your mouth with the hem of your shirt, "I tricked myself into thinking he was making an undeniable decision that could save humanity. Can't he see we failed?"

    Connie remained quiet, biting down his own fear. Frightened screams petrified your thoughts as the seconds ticked away, soldiers falling into their deaths under the command of Pixis, who under no circumstances was near danger.

    Two shadows approached you with confident strides. With furrowed eyebrows, you tilt your sight upwards and stare back into Jean and Marco, unable to understand how they could muster such boldness when both of the boys could be the next to crumble down a titan's intestine. Still looking deep into Jean's light-brown eyes, you spot a glow of fear underneath all of his pride.

    "Is everything alright?" Marco's soft voice rings in your ear. You nod, breaking the stare with Jean and wearing a mask of courage yourself. After all, you've learned to never show vulnerability to this cruel world with horse face himself.

    "This is useless." Connie says, you reluctantly agree.

    Still tired and dizzy from all of these upcoming turn out of events, you stand up with the help of Marco's plushy hand. You notice the elite squad hasn't yet retreated, most likely persistently holding onto the hope that Eren will eventually seal the hole with his abnormal features. 

    "We can make this useful." Jean whispered, loud enough to alert the four of you into thinking he was somewhat insane.

    "If you haven't noticed Jean, we are just a bunch of pathetic, miserable cadets that can't help much during this situation without dying in a matter of seconds. So, how? How can we be useful?" You ask, struggling to spit out the truth.