wings of freedom | aot x reader

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Final Chapter

- Reader's P.O.V. -

It's a sad world. Cruel, sorrowful... And maybe I've known this since the very beginning, perhaps everybody did. But still we kept fighting filled with hyperactivity, aware that the results were likely to only disappoint us. We strode with straight backs and pumped up chests, fierce itching at our knuckles ready to murder all these monstrous titans and miraculously end this nightmare, or maybe willing to let our comrades fall under our sight recklessly. But why do we do this? Why do we act in such unlogical ways, witnessing the shreds of blood from our close ones crumble down a titan's mouth for no real reason?

Because we are humans. We wake up, eat, and sleep every single day the sun rises up our window panes. We tolerate these sufferings because as stupid as it may seem, we remain believing that there's still good yet to come, that one day the sun will shine brighter even if it will take generations for the moment to arrive. We continue to fight, because we are stubborn. We are stubborn and evil, but who isn't?

We are sinners who fight for survival at all costs, sometimes making fools out of ourselves. But in every evil thing, there'll also be beauty. In every soul there'll be sympathy (even the slightest), and in every lie there'll be a concealed reason, and in every drop of blood there's the pride, and in every death there'll be the honor. Just like how the light and the shadow are two different perspectives, yet one cannot exist without the other.

I chose my ending, and therefore I honor it though I shouldn't. I am honored to die here, under the shadow of the clouds, with this cool breeze hitting my body and allowing goosebumps to rise above my dying skin. I'm honored to spend my last minutes next to Jean as the pain from my various cuts becomes agonizing, but still bearable with the presence of him. I am honored to have enlisted as a cadet, to experience all the hardships. For humanity.

Stubbornness surely does kill. It killed me, at least. I wake up to the sound of silence, even though I can hear the screams coming from inside my body at every breath I take. From either side, I notice Sasha clinging to Connie, her light brown eyes inspecting me without daring to blink.

"She's awake." Connie mumbles, the corners of his eyes still wet from previous sobs. But he insists on hiding his fright.

Unlike Sasha who's about to run into me, until a defiant, little man drags her away. His stoic, gray eyes shoot disappointment, but also a tender gloom.

"How did you put yourself into this state?" The bald man asks, his fingers shaking, "NO, nevermind. Don't speak, it'll only injure you further." He chokes on his words, before running off to hide his deteriorating state. And it kills me, slowly, to see that I've caused this to the ones I care for. It kills me to see this was avoidable, and I'd still be up in my feet in a parallel universe.

Because I've done this to myself.

I shift gazes to Jean, who's looking with such concern back at me. His hazel eyes swelling at the hint of coming tears. I take a good glance at him, trying my best to remember as much as I can about his perfectly structured face.

While lifting my uninjured hand up his face, my index finger grazes at those lips that I'll surely always love. He leans in, planting a soft peck upon my cold, almost dead and purple labiums. His comforting kiss lingers through my mouth, even after he detaches away from me.

"Hang in there f/n. Don't make me suffer your loss, too." He says, a trickle of tear finally descending down his cheekbones. It hurts me to see his pain, but I surpass the agony.

I smile back but decide not to answer, afraid I couldn't afford to grant his wish for too long. And for the first time since all my life, I feel free, something even the wings of freedom weren't able to accomplish. Oh how good did freedom feel, to finally be able to let go of all the sorrow, remorse, worry. Yes, I am utterly scared of leaving this world, of leaving Jean, my friends, comrades, and family. But it also relieved a massive weight from my chest that has been there ever since the second I gained consciousness of the real world.

I start coughing, hitching up for oxygen, which only causes more concern from Jean. He reaches up for sustain, though I impede him from standing up. I lay down his chest, breathing in his comforting aura and trying not to care that sooner or later I won't be able to feel his strong arms envelop down my waist anymore.

"Jean?"

"Ye-yeah?"

"I'm glad I met you." I say, looking into the abyss, waiting for any rescue to come, yet there's no sense of presence if not Jean's or mine.

Jean puts pressure on my wounded sides, trying to block the blood as if impatience was getting the best of him.

"Please don't say your last words now. Please don't die on me!" He yells, now gluing me off his chest and shaking both of my shoulders vigorously.

I place my weak finger up his lips, shushing his desperate words that were disrupting the comfortable silence.

"Let me rest a bit. Please?" I request, tears flowing down my cheeks and dripping into the floor.

He shakes in fear, before I kiss him once again. His mouth locking with mine in such an amazing way, it already feels like heaven. But who's there to assure if I'll be going to heaven anyways?

It feels good as Jean's lips brush against mine, so softly, so heavenly. I take my last breath, the constant beating in my chest gradually descending.

He knows this is the end, and I also do. He hesitates to end our last kiss. Eventually we part our lips for air.

But there's no more use of air to me.

Nothing lasts forever. Neither pain nor happiness. I'm glad I experienced both.

The end.