This is from the author.
Hi, you guys. For those who have read my story I just want to say I'm sorry for leaving so sudden. One things for sure is that I finally have my self back after having a long break. Personal shit just had to happened.
XXX
I never get to experience such divine thing like going to other people's house for some group projects because for this reason I get to explore more places and actually have a normal teenage chill thing. It may seem frustrating doing such work because you kind of like know how things will end, you being the leader and almost doing all the work and your group members doing their chill thing like this whole thing is nothing but for fun but you know what? It may seem that fuck up but I kind of grab this moments of my life where I get to have this scenario.
Yeah, it isn't the chill thing we kind of aim but it's what my chill if it means shutting all my worries from home and being a good pet for my strict teachers and other watcher. Just the person who tries to handle things and observed new stuff that might perk my attention. Smiling when I felt like too because I know after doing this people around me would actually forget it. I'm Delphina and I don't do fun-cool-thing. I'm just Delphina who tries hard to follow the rules and hide immediately when I break one. No I'm not coward.
"Jamie, do this." I said while proceeding on telling him how to cut the drawing.
"Yeah, no." He said while pointing to Greg.
Greg stick his tongue out and scoff, "I did the other one so you do you part."
"J, it's cutting. Is it so hard?" I sigh irritated and adjusted my uniform.
"Oh, why me?" He complained childishly but did once I ordered him again.
I was just about to get up when I banged my head on something hard like a shelve. We literally positioned ourselves on the floor of Yanna's living room and I happened to like corners so this is what I get.
I closed my eyes tight to stop the spinning that's going on inside me. Someone asked something but I didn't felt like catching on it right now. I sit still and hold my head using both of my hands. Colored shit appearing on my vision when I try opening my eyes for adjustment. I heave a breath to calm my crazy brain.
"Someone get some ice!"
"Kitchen?"
"On your back, dumb ass!"
"Chill."
"Right."
"Ouch, it fudging hurts." I groaned and hold onto someone to get up.
"Ew." Jamie said but clearly joking.
"Not now, boy."
"I'm not a dog!" Jamie scoffs clearly annoyed.
"Did she said your one?" Faozia joked.
"Guys, the ice."
"In here!"
"Please, enough with the shouting. My parents will give me a lecture after you guys leave." Yanna groaned grumpily.
I finally stood steadily and pressed the ice on my swelling bruised but then hist when it gets too much.
The bicker stop once I clapped my hands loudly and shouted orders after assuring them that I'm fine as always (yeah, right.). They eventually wrap things up after I announced my departure.
XXX
"Delphina!" I was pushing my bag on the side of the bleacher so it seats in the wall that the bleacher has it in it's side.
I swiftly turned around readying myself for stretching why focusing my view on my other club member, Shyla. I raised my brow on her silently asking her 'what's up?'.
"Hey, it's about the dance group that was made to compete with the other schools. I was confused why you aren't in."
"I don't want to."
"But your a great asset."
"Ahm, I don't feel myself with it."
"Ahm, why?" She asked curious.
"Just thought of not putting myself with them." I shrugged like nothing but deep inside there's more to it than that. I invite her for stretching and we eventually sweat ourselves for some crazy dance.
The dance group is not something I want to joined myself in. I just feel the negative shits surrounding in their dance practices. They don't show intensive training and discipline habits. I know who joined on it. Some can be called amazing dancers but almost half of the population there are die-hard wanna be's (sorry, but that's just how you do cool shit to gain more attention and popularity, not the consequences).
And I don't want that attitude. I rather stay true to what I really want and not let strangers rate me or rather control me.
XXX
"How's work?" My mama asked when I slumped myself on the sofa and rested my foot on the table in front of me.
I gave a soft smile even though she wasn't staring at me rather focus on what she's making for the dinner which we will have very late.
"I don't know how you describe it but it's an opposite word of awesome." I said sleepily.
"Well, I told you to quit if it will only kill you slowly."
There it goes again.
"Ma, we need the money. Speaking of it, did you go to the hospital for a check up." She turned to me. I know that look.
Before she says anything,"Ma, why?" I got up having all the weight of anger, sadness. tiredness and etc. on my shoulders.
"I told you that if we need to eat gross or plain food we will. Just take care of yourself. For us ma."
I don't know what going on her mind but her, always taking pity on us than herself will not going to turn out great. We're growing children of her but I never forgot that she's growing old too.
I'm scared to see myself when things will turn dark on all of us, someday.
Time is to precious to not take cautions for your love once.
XXX
I'm tired but if I wake up tomorrow then I'll continue to fight even though I'm slowly weakening inside. I know I'll heal on my way I just need to be patient. Hope things will make sense more when I felt like fading away to the darker side of Delphina Grey.
