These are the three plus hundred things I'm feeling right now. After everything that happen yesterday, after I've finally fallen in love with her, my heart just ripped out.
I don't think happiness is even meant to be for me. I loose everyone I love when I'm happy, that was the reason I always liked how I used to be. That was the reason I locked myself out from the world.
Then she comes into my life giving me hope. She comes into my life like my Angel. My Angel and makes me so happy, makes me fall in love with her, makes me smile, makes me laugh again and shatters me all over again.
I've never felt this way before. I could not even see her hug him without crying, without yelling. So I'm sitting here in the woods all alone crying like a freak. Yes I am crying! Cause I am a freak after all. I'm such a coward, all I want to do is kiss her and tell her I love her but I can't. I'm so stupid. Why did I ever allow myself to fall for someone, especially her, when I knew she had a boyfriend.
In the end everyone leaves
Like always.
Stop fucking crying Zayn!
Just stop!
The voices in my head just stop!!!
Stop screaming!
I feel a hand on my shoulder, a little hope tells me she came after me, but by the weight and strength of the hand I can tell it's not her. She didn't come, but like always it's Harry. In the end it's always Harry who has to go through this shit of mine.
I should consider dating him. He would never hurt me.
He's the one for me I guess.
Plus he's gay! I guess I should just get married to him!
"Haz I want to be alone, just leave for sometime." I say slowly.
"Oh sorry! Haz is inside and are you crying Zayn?" I hear him talk. I jolt up and look at the guy Louis. The guy in the laptop. Her best friend.
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"What do you want?" I ask rudely, wiping the tears. Fuck! Why did he have to see them.
"Talk?" He says, Thank God he ignored the crying part.
"Which I don't want to do. So go talk to someone else" I snap.
"Ah sassy! Just like me. You would be fun" he smirks and I glare at him.
"What the fuck is your problem? Do you want me to hit you or maybe punch your face?" I threaten him, hoping he would leave.
"Let's just talk bruh! Why so rude?" He smiles. Ugh! Stubborn asshole, why does she even like him. She told me I would love this guy, she should consider her thoughts again cause 'like' is the last thing I'm feeling right now.
