Truly-Madly-Deeply Assistant

Chances pt. 1

~We went home and I felt so much better being able to... be there for Jared, but this time not to find his socks, but to start lifting his spirit up again. ~

I tossed and turned in the bed for an hour now.

It was 2 two in the morning.

After we got home with Jared we went to sleep right away as we set the alarm for six in the morning. We wanted to be out in the wild early to have a rather quiet hiking experience but for some reason I couldn't sleep.

Yesterday I was so sure I will talk to Jared about my plans of leaving, but I just couldn't after seeing him in that "lonely state of mind" in the past week of his holiday and then yesterday at the studio.

To think about it, usually he is full of ideas, creating something almost every day. There were times when he had free days, but still he would call the band and me up at seven in the morning because he has this amazing song or music video idea and he just need to shoot some beta-scenes while his vision is sharp.

But the last months he only focused on Gucci and the new album but other than that he spent his free time in front of the tv or in bed with girls.

I thought it is some type of recharging but it's dragging on way too long.

I sighed getting out of bed and made my way down to have some water.

As I walked towards the kitchen, I rubbed my eyes, looking into the living room where I saw Jared laying on the couch in front of the dim light of his computer in his lap.

I frowned walking closer and had a look on his screen.

It was an article what read: Jared Leto has just been called a creep on twitter who is sliding into the DM's of models between the ages of 18-25. Leto did not respond to the accusation of predatory behavior.

There were other tabs open what I could see, such as "Why Leto's Joker was a failure." "Everything wrong about...", "Leto treats his fans like..."

Then the tabs were so tiny I couldn't read more but I didn't want to. I saw them all along the road.

All the accusations throughout the years. All the posts out of jealousy, out of hatred. I knew that Jared fucked up couple times, but I also knew what was true and what wasn't.

"Why are you doing this to yourself?" I sighed and he shivered raising his hand to close the laptop, but he probably realized I saw it already anyway.

"I'm just trying to figure out why am I such a fucking looser," he stated cold and shoved the laptop onto the coffee table and sat up resting his head in his palms still looking at the screen.

I looked at him sadly.

He now just went down this rabbit hole. He has seen it all already, he has been through this but now he just decided to torture himself a bit more.

"Let me tell you why," I said sitting down next to him, grabbing the laptop away and started to type things.

I felt his eyes on me.

Soon I put the computer in front of him.

"You are a looser because you were searching with the wrong key words," I said with a smile.

He looked at the screen where I just put in his name and the word best, and now all the headlines he could read were:

"Best Jared Leto movies", "Jared Leto best of 2017," "Reasons Jared Leto's Joker is the best version" , "List of awards received by Leto in the past years", "Leto's best performances on stage and screen", "Leto: Our audience is the best", "Jared Leto's still killing it"