Truly-Madly-Deeply Assistant

'A violent desire'

For dinner with Shannon I never think much about my outfit.

I throw on something comfortable after a long day at the office and I am ready to go.

We go to the same place where we have the same hidden booth reserved. Nothing fancy, just a corner restaurant in my neighborhood owned by an old, Mexican couple, serving their delicious home-made dishes. There we can just chill and catch up in peace without any curious eyes on us.

This time it was different.

It was almost seven; Shannon is going to be here any minute, but I was still standing in front of my mirror in underwear, holding three different dresses in front of me one by one, biting my lip.

Jared is joining us, and I felt the urge to show him what he missed out on.

Yes, he is the one I can thank for making me feel confident enough to change up my style. To stop hiding my body. If Jared Leto, tells you, you look amazing even in a bikini, then there is no one else that can make you think otherwise.

He gave me just enough confidence to start building on that and it was easier day by day, realizing that the only person judging me was my own self.

When the doorbell rang, I picked up my bag, ready to go.

I decided on a light black dress. It was tight until the waist, from where it had an extra lace layer covering the material, falling just above my knees. I gave the look a twist by choosing black converse with it. I left my hair out, had some mascara on and a light lip gloss.

I took a deep breath and walked out the door.

"I mean... are we still going to Mama's diner?" Shannon asked as he had his eyes on me when I sat into the car. "She is going to have a heart attack... alongside with his husband," he grinned.

I sent him a shy smile as I shrugged.

"Yeah, I just... felt like having a dress on, today," I mumbled looking down to my... slightly exposed chest, as the V neck went all the way down to the start of my rib cage what made my breasts look bigger and well... basically the star of my outfit.

Okay... I might have started to regret my outfit choice.

"Anything to do with the fact that my brother is joining us?" he sent me a knowing smile and I felt my cheeks start to burn.

I did not talk about Jared and me to Shannon.

I knew Jared was telling him everything and probably more and I did not want to make Shannon feel like he is between two chairs by me telling him my feelings as well.

No matter how curious I was about what Jared might have said about me and his feelings... if he has any, but no way I will make Shannon spill on his brother.

I couldn't answer, and probably Shannon sensed how uncomfortable I am, because he didn't continue on, instead he turned towards me, his hands resting in his lap.

"Look, as much as I don't want to be a part of this, like I managed to stay out until now, I feel like there is something I need to talk to you about," he said, total seriousness on his face and I sighed looking at him uninterested.

The last thing I wanted was for him to start lecturing me. He liked to do that a lot and this is exactly how he starts those monologues.

"For the last month I've been back and meeting up with you, I saw you glow. I saw you coming out of your shell, controlling your own life; finally, what I wanted to see for so long. You know I am on Jared's side in most things always. But you are like a sister to me and the last thing I want to see is that you fall back to the old routine of placing Jared above you. You are not his assistant anymore, Avery and whatever feelings you have towards him, don't let them control you."