Tom Holland Blurbs

let it rain (t.h.)

based off the song "let it rain" by david nail

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Tom's POV

It's hard to find the perfect time to say something
You know is gonna change everything.

I fucked up. I ruined everything and I had to tell Y/N. This was going to ruin us. I felt like I couldn't breathe, but I knew it was all my fault. I had brought all of this on myself. I leaned against the wall outside our apartment and vomited, wiping my mouth with a shaky hand. I was the worst person alive. Y/N would never forgive me and I didn't deserve her forgiveness. I pushed off the wall and stood in front of the door, fist raised. I couldn't bring myself to knock, knowing that Y/N was inside waiting for me to come home and that this would no longer be a place I was welcome at after I told her what I had done. My head fell forward and hit the door, and I heard movement from the other side of the door.

"Did you forget where your keys are again, Tommy?" Y/N opened the door, wrapped up in a blanket and dressed in one of my hoodies that swallowed her. She had that sleepy look on her face, the expression she usually wore when she waited up for me. I just looked at her, standing outside our apartment, taking it all in. I knew that everything was about to change. I took in a deep breath, and stepped inside, offering Y/N a small smile.

"Yeah, yeah I couldn't find which pocket they were in," I said softly, taking her in as I turned around to face her. Normally I took off my jacket when I came in, but this time was different. I was going to break her heart. The most important person in my life was standing in front of me, looking at me with huge trusting eyes.

Y/N is the most beautiful person I had ever met, she had kind, gorgeous eyes and long hair. My sweatshirt was huge on her, because she was so tiny. I had always loved her hands, because they were so small and delicate and so sure of themselves. Y/N always had a purpose behind her movements, she always moved in a way that let the observer know she was completely self-assured. Looking at her now, I knew that would be something that I missed. It was going to leave an incredible ache in my chest to know that I was going to have to exist without her.

"Tom? Is everything alright? You look like you're going to be sick," her sweet voice touched my ears and I came back to myself, standing in front of her. Little did she know that I had just emptied my stomach on the steps outside.

"I love you Y/N, you know that?" I whispered. That was the wrong thing to say. After I told her what I had done she would hate me for starting the conversation that way. She was going to hate me no matter what.

"Of course, I love you more, Tom." Her smile broke me heart. I released the breath I didn't even know I was holding shakily.

Living with the shame,
It ain't nothing like the pain that I saw on her face.

"I slept with someone."

It came out of my mouth before I realized I had even made the decision to tell her. But I was always going to tell her. I was always honest with Y/N. Except when I wasn't. Except when I was drunker than I had ever been in my life and I was sleeping with a random fan. Except when I was cheating on the love of my life and I was breaking her heart before she even knew it.

"W-what?" Y/N stuttered. Her face crumpled, the color draining so quickly I almost reached for her before stopping myself because I knew the last thing she would want was me touching her. She dropped to the floor slowly, arms wrapped around her body, like she was trying to physically hold herself together. I wanted to throw up again. I had never hated myself more than in the moment I saw Y/N's heart break because of a mistake I made. She started rocking back and forth, breathing hard, like she couldn't fully fill her lungs with air. I barely heard her voice when she spoke. "W-what are you telling me?"