The Revenant (Doctor x OC)

Closing Time

The Doctor dragged me out of the Tardis towards a house. He knocked on the door, a smile on his face, and a man opened the door.

"I'm coping on my own-" he said.

"Hello, Craig. I'm back," The Doctor said with an adorable smile.

"She didn't. How could she phone you?"

"How could who phone me? Nobody phoned me. I'm just here," he stuck his head inside the house. "Oh, you've redecorated! I don't like it"

"It's a different house. We moved"

"Yes, that's it. By the way, Revenant, this is my friend Craig. Say hello"

"Nice to meet you, but you can call me Rayna"

"Nice to meet you, too. Doctor, what are you doing here?"

"Social call. Thought it was about time I tried one out. How are you?"

"I'm... fine?"

"This is the bit where I say I'm fine, too, isn't it? I'm fine, too. Good! Love to Sophie. Bye," He turned around and started to walk away but the lights flickered. "Something's wrong"

He ran past Craig into the house, pulling out his screwdriver. I smiled awkwardly at Craig but followed the Doctor up the stairs.

"On your own, you said, but you're not. You're not on your own"

"Just ssh," Craig told him.

"Increased sulphuric emissions, and look at the state of this place. What are you not telling me?"

"Doctor, please"

"Ssh"

"Doctor, I think-" I tried to tell him that there was a baby in here, as I assumed from the diapers and tiny clothes strewn about on the stairs.

"Ssh"

"No, you ssh," Craig said.

"Ssh!"

"Shush!"

"No, you ssh!"

"Doctor!" Craig whispered as the Doctor moved over to a door.

"Whoever you are get off this planet," The Doctor ordered once he was in the room.

The baby started to cry and Craig ran over to him. "You've woken him!"

We went downstairs into the kitchen, Craig trying to calm the baby while the Doctor looked through his fridge for a drink.

"So, when you say on your own..."

"Yes, I meant on my own with the baby, yes. Because no one thinks I can cope on my own, which is so unfair, because, I can't cope on my own with him, I can't. He just cries all the time! I mean, do they have off switches?"

"Human beings? No, believe me, I've checked"

"No, babies!"

"Same difference. Sometimes this works, though. Ssh," The Doctor said to the baby that instantly calmed down.

"Can you teach me to do that?"

"Probably not," the Doctor said, flipping through a pregnancy magazine.

"Oh, please, I need something. I am rubbish at this!"

"At what?"

"Being a dad! You read all the books and they tell you you'll know what to do if you follow your instincts. I have no instincts! That's what this weekend's about, trying to prove to people I can do this one thing well-"

The Doctor laughed at something he read then put the magazine down. "So, what did you call him? Will I blush?"

"No, we didn't call him the Doctor"

"No, I didn't think you would"

"He's called Alfie. What are you doing here, anyway?"

"Yes, he likes that, Alfie, though personally, he prefers to be called Stormageddon, Dark Lord of All"

"Sorry, what?"

"That's what he calls himself"

"And how do you know that?"

"I speak baby"

"Of course you do"

"It's not that surprising considering he's pretty childish himself," I say.

"Hey!" The Doctor shouted.

"I don't even know when his nappy needs changing and I'm the one who's supposed to be his dad," Craig says with a sigh, sitting down.

"Yeah, was wondering where his mum is. Where is Sophie?"

"She's gone away with Melina for the weekend. She needs a rest"

"No, he's your dad. You can't just call him Not Mum," The Doctor said to Alfie.

"Not Mum?"

"That's you. Also Not Mum, that's me. And everybody else is...? Peasants. That's a bit unfortunate. Oh, except for Revenant, she hasn't got a nickname, he's just calling her Revenant"

"What are you here for? What's happening?"

"Just popped in to say hello," The Doctor said, putting a piece of chalk to his tongue but quickly putting it back.

"You don't do that. I checked downstairs when we moved in, it's real. And next door, both sides, they're humans. Is it the fridge? Are there aliens in my fridge?"

"I just want to see you, Craig. Cross my hearts. Been knocking around on my own with her for a bit. Bit of a farewell tour. One last thing, popping in to see you, then we're off to see the Alignment of Exodor"

"The Alignment of Exodor"

"17 galaxies in perfect unison. Meant to be spectacular. I can't miss it. Literally can't, it's locked in a time stasis field. I get one crack at flying my Tardis straight into it, if I get my dates right. Which I have"

"Sounds nice"

"So this is me, popping in and popping out again," The Doctor says, looking at a newspaper. "Just being social, just having a laugh. Never mind that"

"Never mind what?"

"Nnnnothing"

"No, you've noticed something. You've got your noticing face on. I have nightmares about that face"

"Ohhh, Nope, given all that up, done noticing things," the lights flickered and he pointed at the lamp. "Didn't even notice that, for example. Well, gotta go. Good seeing you, Craig. Goodbye, Stormageddon"

"No, wait, wait, can you do the shushing thing?"

"No, it only works once, and only on life forms with underdeveloped brains"

"Hang on, you said farewell tour. What do you mean, farewell-"

"Ssh"

Craig tried to keep talking but couldn't. We left and the Doctor spoke to himself, trying to leave without noticing anything. He tried to convince himself that he was leaving.

"It's not in your nature to ignore something you've noticed," I tell him.

The next day I wandered around the store where the Doctor had gotten a job, using the job to investigate the store. The Doctor pulled me into the lift with Craig and Alfie when he spotted me, then he closed the doors using his sonic.

"Just between us four. Don't want to frighten me punters. Someone's been using a teleport relay right here in this shop. Missing people last seen in this area," The Doctor put a finger to Craig's lips to keep him from talking. "Before you ask, CCTV's been wiped"

"A teleport? A-a beam. A teleport like a 'beam me up' teleport like you see in Star Trek?" Craig asks with some weird hand gestures.

"Exactly! Someone's been using a beam me up Star Trek teleport. Could be disguised as anything," The Doctor smiled.