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25. A Mess Of Memories But One Is Missing

Disoriented and scared, I look around for a clue to where I am. There are none. I'm surrounded by complete and utter blackness.

My fingers curl around fabric, and I inhale the smell which is not mine but fills me with a sense of safety. Turning my head, I groan as the movement causes a painful pounding across my temples. My head is going to explode.

"Cady, are you awake?"

I don't answer. Nothing makes sense. Why am I here? I rake my brain for details, trying to remember how I've ended up in this bed with him. I was arguing with Rena in Gloria's office and she locked me out. I was dragged around by Lars and shown off like a prized pig ready to be sold for the slaughter. What happened next?

Clawing through my memories, I remember confusion, unwanted pressure, unwanted kisses. I shudder uncontrollably. My hands run down my body. The jewelled underwear has been replaced by an oversized t-shirt and shorts.

"Cady?" The voice is soft and concerned.

"Did we...?" My croaky voice trails off. My throat is so dry. I want water. I want answers.

"No. Taking advantage of unconscious women isn't my style," Grey responds.

I can't tell if there's a hint of amusement or insult in his voice. My head is too foggy, everything tangled and untidy. All my mental boxes have been opened, the contents scattered across my mind. I sift through the disordered mess of memories but there is nothing for the end of last night.

"What happened?" I swallow hard, unsure I want to hear the response.

"You were drugged. The man who approached you the other night persuaded Lena to put something in your drink and take you somewhere private," Grey's voice sounds strained. "We found you before..." He pauses, unsure how to phrase the words. "Before he took your outfit off. Lottie and Darla changed your clothes. They suggested you stay in here. We thought your room might make you uncomfortable, and Lena is still sleeping in their room until Gloria decides what to do with her. I can ask one of them to stay with you in here if you're uncomfortable with me staying."

I don't answer. Lena? Kind innocent Lena? How could she? A memory of her words hit me in the chest like a series of bullets, 'this is a great opportunity for all of us'. Lena knew then she was going to hand me over to him. What had he promised her? Money? A way out?

An image of Lena's cold calculated face returns along with a flicker of him on top of me. I start to retch and Grey places a container in front of me. I hurl loudly, emptying the contents of my stomach but it doesn't make anything clearer or easier. I still feel dirty and sick.

Grey places a glass of water against my lips which I gulp greedily. It's so dark in here. No light. No windows. The darkness should make me feel uncoordinated but instead, it forms a protective layer around me; it's a blanket which prevents me from having to acknowledge what happened.

I can ignore the events of last night, pretend it never occurred. Or I will try like I do with so many of my past memories. I slump back down onto the bed, trying to reorganise my thoughts except I'm exhausted.

"Do you want me to get Lottie or Darla?" Grey asks gently.

"I don't want them."

I want my mum. The thought surprises me. I can't remember the last time I really needed her or sought her out for comfort. But right now, I'm lost and I want her to calm me, reassure me. She's the only person who knows me for all my faults and has remained in my life. I'd cry if I had the energy and fatigue wasn't already dragging me down into oblivion.