Unmarked

30. Cracking Up

Inhaling the cool air, I stand to the side of the restaurant window so those inside can't see me. The tears are overflowing while a thick heavy knot forms in my throat, rising higher and higher.

Why would my mum choose to not mark me? Why would any parent? All those Unmarked children killed and I'm next on the list. The Officials know about me. Lots of people now know about me. And these idiots think they can overthrow The State and I can help them. I have no skills apart from running. My only survival talent is being able to disappear at the first sign of potential exposure.

Yet, now the thought of running back to my mum who purposefully kept me Unmarked, who set me up for a lifetime of struggles is not so appealing. A ball of resentment forms at the pit of my stomach making me double over as a strangled sound escapes my mouth.

Arms wrap around me, tucking me against a large chest whilst simultaneously pushing me towards a covered doorway. Lips against my ear whisper, "Cady, what's wrong?"

"Teddy?" I gaze up at his face. His sweet face which is exactly how I'd remembered it, a lopsided grin with warm familiar eyes. The only thing wrong with the image in front of me is the gold and green uniform. He is an Official.

"Are you ok? You look like you're in pain," Teddy says urgently, inspecting me before glancing over his shoulder, his frame blocking me from the street.

I push him hard and he steps back surprised. He recovers quickly returning to his stance, his body blocking my escape.

"You have to leave now. You're not safe here," Teddy says urgently.

"You're an Official," I hiss.

He nods and rests one hand on my waist whilst tucking a piece of paper into my trouser pocket.

"I can explain everything. Meet me tomorrow at this location." He taps my pocket holding the paper.

I shake my head vigorously. I don't talk knowing my voice will give away the internal conflict and all my emotions will tumble outwards. The closeness of his face, the tickle of his breath, his warm hand on my waist is making me feel everything from what I should to what I shouldn't.

The most prominent of all these emotions though is the bitter taste of betrayal. He lied to me somewhere along the line or maybe it was from the start. Teddy was meant to be studying architecture but he's not. He probably never was. He lied to me although I probably deserved it. I was never honest with him about what I am or what I've done. Had I ever been myself? The answer doesn't make this hurt any less. I push him away hard, flicking away his outstretched hand.

"The Officials are due to arrive any second," Teddy calls after me as I run into the restaurant.

I stride towards the booth, grab Grey by the arm and tug him upwards. "We need to go now. Officials are coming."

Grey jumps up but Charlie remains still. "Go out the back." She turns to Zed on a table behind me. "Zed, show them where to go."

Zed stands and walks towards the back of the restaurant through a set of swinging double doors. Following, we pass the kitchen continuing along a corridor which leads to a back door opening onto an alleyway.

"Shouldn't you all leave?" I ask as Zed scribbles on a piece of paper.

"We don't need to worry, there's nothing to incriminate us if you two are gone," Zed says quietly and hands me the paper. "This address will take you to a Reflection Centre. Say you've been recommended by Reflection Overseer Flora to join the local community purity purge. Go to the location she gives you and someone will meet you there in approximately two hours."

Zed doesn't say another word as he slams the door leaving us alone. We're not alone for long.

A swarm of gold and green moves towards us, blocking our only exit route. Grabbing Grey by the neck, I pull him towards me and step us back against the wall, his body pressed into mine. He looks terrified.

I curl my hand around his neck, lowering his head towards mine. "Go along with me and we'll be fine."

He nods, his hands rest on my waist, his lips so close to mine. If I wasn't preoccupied with the Officials getting closer and closer, if his eyes weren't so panic stricken, maybe I would want this. Maybe, I would kiss him.

"The only boy I've ever kissed only wanted to kiss me so he could practise and improve his technique for his fiancé," I murmur.

"He's a liar," Grey whispers. He doesn't smile but I see his eyes soften momentarily, the sheer terror briefly interrupted by my confession.

"What are you two doing here?" A voice barks to the side of us.

I drop my hand from Grey's neck and interlock our hands.

"I'm sorry. We..." I fake stutter, eyes down before briefly glancing up at the female Official's scowling hard face. I morph my expression to one of embarrassment and innocence or my most convincing attempt. "We got engaged today and our families are celebrating inside... I'm sorry...we just wanted some time alone..." My voice tapers off, staring at my feet, I shuffle trying to force the sound of unshed tears into my voice which isn't too hard. "Let me show you my seal."

"Get out of here," The official snarls.

I nod, pulling Grey out of the alley, away from the Officials searching for me. My chest tightens, waiting for them to realise their mistake.

Blocking out my surroundings, my heart pounds in my ears as I continue to move, clenching Grey's hand the entire time. My only focus is to gain as much distance as possible between us and the Officials hunting me down.