reader x murdoc

Chapter 8

I sat at my desk and checked my phone .
00:06

I had a couple beers by my side as I danced around my room to some cheesy song from He guardians of the galaxy 
" iiiiimmmmm hooked on a feelinnnnnn !" I shouted and jumped around spilling beer in the clean floor , the song reminded me of earlier but I shook it off and jumped around yet again . I ran to my speakers and paused the song as I heard a loud noise downstairs , I hesitantly shouted .
" hello?" I tip toed down the stairs and made my way into the lounge . I heard a noise across the room from me as I saw one of my picture frames smash .
" AH!" I screamed and scrambled up the stairs slamming my door behind me and playing loud music to drown the noise out and my thoughts of what it was . I shakily opened my door and peered out .
" boo ."
" FUCKING HELL YOU CRAZY SHIT !" I fell to the floor and immediately sat up facing the person outside my door , murdoc .
" don't be scared about me luV , you were sing about me a minute ago ." He laughed and lauds a hand on my shoulder . I pushed it off and harshly glared at him .
" ok how do you know where I live , how did you get in here , what are you doing in here , why won't you leave me alone !" I stood up and went to go back into my room when he gently tugged at my ankle .
" I don't wanna leave you alone again luv , I didn't apologise properly for all that a couple of years ago .."
All I could do was hug him , he was the only person I kept going back to and the only person who was always there .
" c-come into my room , we can talk in there I guess ." He had suddenly gone all soft and sat next to me on the floor hugging me .
" when you left , I had no idea what to
Do hate you , cry or get over it . I decided now that you were gone to have a new fresh start and I reconnected with my parents but you were always there somehow . Music I listened to , trust issues in friends , relation ships ." I began to cry and I have no idea why , I guess this man caused me so much grief and yet I always End up with him one way or another ."luv I'm so sorry I really am I-" I cut him off after suddenly thinking about my friend who he disappeared with .
" hold on a sec lovely , where the hell did you and f/n go ?" He sighed and sunk to the floor .
" we went to Mexico , I'm sorry i don't know what I was thinking . Then we got involved in some cartel shit and I went to some dodgy prison , eventually I broke out though .." I sighed at his response and hugged him , breathing in the smell of cheap cologne and cigarettes which I kind of liked .he stroked my hair and whispered to me softly .
" I'm not gonna leave you again ." He picked me up and placed me on my bed laying next to me on top of the covers as I drifted off to sleep .

Murdoc PoV )

I walked over to her desk as I waited for her to fall asleep , I peered over all the notes on it and found a small book labelled
' stay the fuck out or I'll beat your ass '
How she goes from bitchy to sweet is beyond me but I look inside .the first few pages were just lists or song recommendations from her work years back and then I began to read a very long page .

I can't believe it , murdoc showed up again  ... as always I don't know weather to hate him or love him . I mean he did mug the club I work at but I still have good yet twisted memories of him from that shit hole of a beach . But that sly green dickhead left me for my slag of a mate ! After all the stuff we did and all the stuff he put me through . I cried myself to sleep last Night it was like I depended on him , what am I saying or should I say writing ? This guy ruined my life .

U̶g̶h̶ ̶i̶d̶k̶ ̶I̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶n̶k̶ ̶i̶ ̶r̶e̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ ̶d̶i̶d̶ ̶h̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶f̶e̶e̶l̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶h̶i̶m̶

I noticed a line through the last sentence which wasn't as faded as the rest of the letters , also why was this book here from 7 years ago ? I flicked through more pages and eventually to the last page . It was dated back 2 years ago.

I need to get over this shit and sort my shit out ,right now I'm some slag who sleeps with every man on the block and is addicted to booze . I need a reality check , almost and hour ago I decided to call my parents after 5 years of the thinking I was dead

Couple of days later : I've managed to rent out a house in Michigan ! Fresh start new state , new job ( hopefully ) and new life ! I can forget al that shit from plastic bloody beach and when he turned up 2 years ago ! I'm so excited :D

I sat there and observed the papers feeling even worse than I did for leaving her , I'd caused all this and didn't even care maybe I need a reality check . I managed to make out words which had been lightly scribbled out at the bottom of the page , it seemed like 2 large paragraphs.

Don't try to hide away You know you've been on Though I'm keepin' come, I'm not on Go away my love Thought I could change our fate I tried again, but there's delay It's more than I can take And it got to me When you state your love And you walk away What could you be on? Now you're not around But I hope you see I will be full-on If it's up to me That's all I got-

They seemed like lyrics to a song that was never finished , and they seemed to hold feeling . I peered over to her soft face resting , I smirked and got up to lay next to her .