I know how much Keaton wants to be here for the twins and I, but I couldn't just ask him not to go. He should be on tour though, doing what he loves; playing music and making fans happy. I know how the fans feel because I was a fan before I started dating Keaton, and I still am a fan. I know much they love him and Wes, and it amazes me sometimes how supportive they've been. Of course there's been people who don't aprove, but for the most part I don't let it bother me. Thinking of all these things really makes me miss him more. He loves his fans so much and I'm glad he's there for them. I just miss waking up to him being by my side, or walking downstairs to see coffee ready for me. Sometimes he'd even sing to me when I'd have trouble falling asleep. That's been happening a lot lately, so I made a playlist including some of his covers and other songs that reminded me of him. 3000 Miles was played most as I fell asleep each night. I remember the day he took me to our first doctor's appointment and how happy and nervous we were. I wish he could be there by my side like that for the other's. Shay and Luke have been a huge help, but it's just one of those things that you wish he could be there. I miss snuggling up to him on rainy days watching movies in our pajamas on the couch, or laying in bed on stormy nights watching the lightning hearing the thunder as it crashed, sometimes so loud it could wake the dead. I miss how sometimes I would come home from work and hear a bubble bath running; usually when I could use it most, and ocassionally asking if he'd like to join me. I miss eating dinner together. I miss falling asleep by his side with our legs intertwined. I miss laughing at how dorky he can be and his cheesy jokes. I felt a tear escape and roll down my cheek, following by a few more. I cried myself to sleep listening to 3000 Miles feeling bad because I know how much he truly wishes he could be here and wanting him to lay here with me.
