COUNTRY GIRL - The 7th summer

Chapter 29 - Kitty

I still don't get it. I keep playing it in my mind over and over and this doesn't make any sense to me. It only makes my wanna cry again and again. I feel almost like I can't breath. Like something is twisting my heart between its fist, reaping it apart. It hurt so much!

And that poor Thomas who's trying to sooth me...

-- What happened, he asks shyly.

My throat is so tight I don't think I can speak. But I try to anyway because maybe Thomas will understand something that I didn't.

-- I t-told him-him that I-I-I-I loved h-him, and he s-said he-

The last words die in my sobbings. He said he didn't knew if he did! He looked me in the eyes and told me he freaking didn't knew if he loved me!

I want to scream but I don't have enough breath for that. So I just cry. And cry. And cry.

Until I hear footsteps on the terrasse and take a glance. It's Harry. Of course it's him, who else could it be. Our eyes meet and I feel anger coming over the pain. Betrayal.

He just stands there, looking at us. I can feel Thomas growing uneasy and slowly taking his arms away from me.

-- Kitty, I'm sorry, Harry says in a small voice. I-...Maybe you should go, he whispers.

The pain is back all over again. He said that he would go back to London with Thomas, that he wouldn't stay longer. He doesn't want to be with me. He doesn't love me...

I start crying again and Thomas puts his hand on my back and lead me away.

-- Come on, he says, I'll walk you home.

I just nod and let him take me to Granny's. I'm so glad he's here. I wish I hadn't been such an ass with him from the beginning because he surely doesn't deserved it.

-- Harrison's a twat. You deserve so much better, he says as I open the gate and we walk on the alley.

-- He's all I have, I reply and it makes cry again.

Will I ever stop?!

-- You'll find better.

-- But I don't want better, I want him!

Thomas stops and cups my face with his hands. For a moment I'm afraid he might kiss me because he looks at me with such intensity. But he just speaks.

-- You should be the one dumping him. And then you should start over in Oxford, meet new people and they'll have to see what I saw. And they'll love it, Amy Pond.

-- But I just wanted him to love me, I weep.

He sighs and pulls me into a hug again.

-- I can try and talk to him, he says.

I nod but we both know Haz is not a big talker when it comes to feelings. Thomas starts to let go of me but I keep my arms around him.

-- Can you stay a little longer, I ask quietly.

I feel him tense and when he starts moving again it's to step away from me. He looks at me and I bit my lip because I try to stop crying.

-- I could use a friend right now, I say in a breath.

-- Okay...

He keeps staring at me for a moment then he takes out his phone, put on some slow music and sets the phone on the top of my car. He holds out his hand and smiles to me.

-- Let's dance. I'm gonna teach you how to waltz.

I blink but eventually takes his hand.

-- I know how to waltz, I can't help but reply a bit smugly.

-- Well, then, shall we?

His smile grows bigger as I put my other hand on his shoulder. I smile slightly and let him lead the dance. We are in the middle of the alley, he's still not wearing any shirt, his hair are even messier than the usual, my top is wet from when I tried to clean it and my face must be all red and puffy from the crying. We must look ridiculous!

And it's about to get better, or worst I don't know, because a song from Grease starts. I recognise it immediatly since I love this old musical and it makes me smirk. Hopelessly devoted to you? How fitting?!

-- How come you have that on your phone, I chuckle a bit.

-- Told you I listen to a lot of stuff, he smirks. But this is actually spotify's playlist against heartbreakers and stupid boys.

I glance at him and giggle. He's so sweet and funny. Just what I need right now...The waltz is turning into a slow dance and I rest my chin on his shoulder. The lyrics fits so accurately with my own thoughts I feel the need to sing them out.

-- You know I'm just a fool who's willing to sit around and wait for you.

I feel Thomas' hold tightening around my waist and his cheek pressing against my head.

-- But baby can't you see, there's nothing left for me to do...I'm hopelessly devoted to you...

Just as the music's pace speeds up a bit and the chorus begins, Thomas takes back my hand and makes me swirl on myself with a flick if his arm. I yelp at first because this is rather unexpected but I quickly start laughing. He lifts me up and turn around before putting me back on the ground and we are back on waltzing again.

I try to catch up with his steps but he keeps making me twirl and I keep laughing. I struggle not to lose my balance, until eventually I stumble on his foot and smash my forehead on his nose.

-- Ouch, we both say at the same time, still laughing.

-- Jeez, enough with the hit on the face, he says dramatically.

-- I'm so sorry, I try to apology without chuckling.

We smile to each other and for a brief moment I'm just happy. But Harry is not so far in the back of my mind, and I feel my smile fading...

-- Thank you, I say softly.

-- Will you be alright ?

-- Yeah...You should go back...

-- I can stay if you want me to.

-- I'll be fine.

I try to give him a convincing smile, I can see he hesitates.

-- Okay then, see you tomorrow?

-- I don't know...

He looks at me strangely and all of a sudden, he leans over and kisses me on the cheek. I feel my face burning as he says:

-- I'll come check on you, Amy Pond.

I watch him walking back to the Kerry's, smiling sadly. If only Harry could be half as thoughtful as Tom...