COUNTRY GIRL - The 7th summer

Chapter 31 - Tom

As I walk back to the Kerry's, I feel anger building up in my chest. I spot Haz in the garden and come at him:

-- What the fuck is wrong with you?!

-- Look who's back, he snorts. Took you some time!

-- What did you say to her, I ask shoving him.

-- That's none of your business, he growls poking me back.

-- She just cried her eyes out on my shoulder so I think it damn is!

-- Why don't you go back to her then, uh? Do you think I don't see what you're doing!

-- She fucking loves you, you dickhead!

-- Fuck off Tom!

-- What did you say to her, I ask again. She thinks you're dumping her! If that's what it is at least be straight with her!

-- Oh you'd like that right?! So you can have her for yourself!

We stand inches from on another, both with clenched fist. I am this close to punch him in the face...

-- For fucks sake, she doesn't love me! She loves you, I yell pushing him so hard he fell off his feet.

He stays on the ground, his face down and I feel bad all of a sudden. This is stupid! I clench my fist again to try and calm me down. He sighs heavily and scratches his head.

-- Fuck..., he mutters.

-- Jeez mate, I don't want us to fight over Amy, I say when I get my cool back. But you gotta stop acting like an asshole.

-- I'm supposed to go back home on Saturday with you, he blurts out.

-- What?

-- My mum called this morning. She wants me to come home earlier.

-- Shit, that's the day after tomorrow!

-- Yeah... I don't know what to do with Kitty...

He finally looks up to me and I can see how lost he is. Then he frowns and asks:

-- You do fancy her, don't you?

What am I supposed to say now? Lie and hope he believe me? Tell the truth and hope he won't hate me for that? I take too much time to answers and I think my silence gives it away because Haz nods. I still don't know what to say.

-- I fucked up, he sigh.

Damn right he did! But at least he's aware of that. Maybe he's not as oblivious as it seems. I sit on the grass too but I keep my distance.

-- You should talk to her, I say tentatively.

-- I don't know what to say...

-- Just tell her how you feel.

-- Well, I don't know how I feel, he sigh.

I glance at him as he lies down and puts his arm over his eyes. Knowing Haz, that's his way of saying this conversation is over.

-- Then write it down or whatever but you gotta sort it out, I say sitting up and going inside the house to give him privacy.

I slouch on the couch and sigh. I have things to sort out too...What am I going to do with Elle? Because yesterday's conversation didn't really go well and I guess I understand now why she said I was getting distant. But how am I supposed to tell her it's because I fell in love with my best mate's girlfriend without even noticing it?

I'm not delusional, I know Amelia doesn't have the slightest interest in me. Plus, I probably won't see her again after Saturday...Of all the girls in the world, I had to crush over the very one I can't have!

But go tell that to my stupid heart! And it feels kinda wrong to keep on being with Elle since...Well I basically love another girl! And to be honest it feels like what I felt for Elle is nothing compare to Amy.

So what now? I wait for time and distance to make it go away? If I can ever forget her...? Right now it doesn't seem likely since all i want to do is going back to her to see if she's alright... Maybe I'll forget her faster in Elle's arms? But then again, it feels so wrong...!