The Boy in the Jersey ✔️

4

Chapter 4

As I step into the sterile hospital room, my heart dropped into my stomach. Grandma looks up at me with a weak smile and calls me over to her.

"Kelly honey. Where are your parents and brother?"

I sniffle before responding to her.

"Mom and dad are parking and Logan is in the gift shop. Where's grandpa?"

"I sent him home to rest. Poor thing has been up for over 48 hours. And I know this couch isn't good for his back." She says with a chuckle.

I sit in the chair next to her bed and grab her hand. I knew she would be able to read me, she always could.

"I know you're scared honey, but it's my time. I don't want to be in pain anymore. You can understand that right?" She asks giving my hand a tight squeeze.

I slowly nod my head.

"Yeah, I just don't want to lose you, you're all I have grandma." I say as a tear slips out.

"Oh honey, you won't ever lose me. I will always be in your heart and in your mind. I will never leave you, I promised you when you were a baby." She yells me as she wipes my tears away with her free hand.

"I don't know what I'm going to do without you" I manage in nearly a whisper.

"Kelly look at me"

I lift my head to look her in the eyes.

"You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. I know you will be just fine."

I smile at her through the tears.

"Are you quoting Winnie the Pooh?"

Grandma smiles at me and places a delicate hand on my cheek.

"You are so courageous. You're just like your father. I know you can make it. Just promise me you won't lose yourself. You need to stay strong."

"But what if I can't grandma? What if it's to much to handle?"

"Honey, no matter what always remember that I will be there. Even if you can't see me. I will help you through things."

Another tear slips down my cheek, and my grandma wipes it away.

"Here, I want you to have this." She says as she unclasps the necklace she was wearing.

She puts it on me and smiles.

"Now you will always have me with you."

"Thank you grandma. I won't ever take it off."

My grandma squeezes my hand again before giving me a kiss on my forehead.

"I love you Kelly."

"I love you too"

**

I change the song I'm listening to yet again as we drive back home. I was trying to get my mind off of everything and music was the healthiest way I could think of.

After chatting for a few hours and promising to go back to visit soon, we all left grandmas room and started the three hour drive home. We were only a hour in and I was done listening to dad and Logan talk about the game on Friday.

I put my headphones in my ears and did my best to tune them out, but I couldn't focus.

My mind was on a fritz and I couldn't stop it.

I pinch the diamond on my neck and twirl it between my fingers to try and get myself to focus.

It wasn't working.

If anything it was making it worse.

My mom kept watching me through the rearview mirror as my dad's attention was on the road.

When I would catch her watching me she would give me a sympathetic smile.

I would smile back and turn my attention back to my playlist.

"Oh before I forget Logan, the new captain is coming by the house tomorrow after school, I wanted to get some extra practice in and I figured it'd be good for you to meet him and teach him our plays a little better then I could"

"Sure dad whatever" Logan says with an eye roll.

"What's the problem?" My dad asks him.

"I just don't get why I couldn't have been captain. I'm good at the game, I know the plays and the team. I'm the co captain." Logan says in a stern voice.

"You're not ready yet Logan"

"I am too! I'm the best on that team and I push myself harder than anyone else does! Why can't you believe in me enough to let me take over."

Logan's voice had raised to a shout, and my dad demeanor had switched.

"I've told you before that you are not ready. You are still to slow on the  passes and frankly you aren't mature enough to take over the team. You're lucky I got a scout to come watch you Friday. If you screw it up then there's nothing I can do for you." My dad says in a raised voice.

Logan rolls his eyes again crosses his arms across his chest.

"Lose the attitude or I'll pull you from the game." My dad snaps.

Logan sinks deep into his seat and mumbles something under his breath.

My mom puts her hand in my dad's and links their fingers together. My dad brings their hands up to his mouth and places a kiss on her hand. I see mom smile as she looks at dad.

I can see the love on her face, the admiration she has for him. And the way he looks at her, like she's the only girl in the world.

That's what I want. I want that stability with someone. I want what they have, an unfailing love.

They never fought, they never yelled, and they always come back to each other. They act like newlyweds and always show each other how much they each care.

I felt myself smile for the first time since I met Josh.

I want what my parents have.

The rest of the trip was spent dreaming about my future and what it would be like.

I'd have three kids, a boy and two girls. The boy would be the oldest so he will protect his sisters. I'll live in a quaint house on the other side of town and I'll be a teacher at GreenLake Elementary. My husband will come home from work and kiss me with a smile on his face. He'll tell me how much he loves me, and I'll believe him.

I won't ever feel worthless or broken again. I'll have the support I need, and the love I crave. I'll be happy.

My eyes close as I drift to sleep with my fingers wrapped around the small diamond around my neck, and my thoughts drift to the blonde haired boy.