The Boy in the Jersey ✔️

31

Chapter 31

I make my way back to Josh as slow as I can. I didn't want to have this conversation with him. I was terrified that I had ruined everything by spilling that I loved him. Although I didn't specifically say that Josh was who I loved it was implied. And I knew everyone had picked up on it. Including Josh.

As I get closer to the tree that I had left Josh at last time, my nerves started going. My hands had gotten sweaty and my heart rate increased drastically. I caught sight of the blonde haired boy, he was leaning against the tree running his hand through his hair. The leaves crunching beneath my feet as I slowly drew closer, caused Josh to look up in my direction.

He stands up straight and stuffs his hand into his pocket.

"Hey" he says once I'm in front of him.

I was relieved when he spoke first, because I didn't want to lead this conversation.

"Hi"

"How are you holding up?"

Well that wasn't what I was expecting him to say.

"Uh I'm okay I guess. I mean my grandmother just died and my brother hates me. So I'm as good as I can be."

"Right that was a stupid question. I'm sorry"

Where was this going?

"Why are you sorry? You didn't do anything"

"Exactly"

My eyebrows furrow together as I stare at him with a shocked look plastered on my face.

"I'm confused. What are you talking about?"

Josh takes a deep breath and removes his hand from his pocket to adjust his sling.

"You said I didn't do anything and you're right I didn't. I didn't defend you, or stuck up for you, or even try and break up the fight."

"That isn't your job Josh. What happens between Logan and I, it's" I pause thinking of how I wanted to word this.

"It's inevitable for us to fight. I mean we're twins, it happens. I know eventually he'll get over it."

"Will you?"

I wasn't sure if I'd be ok or not. My mental health has taken such a toll these past few weeks. I'm sure I would be. I'd have to be.

Right?

"I shouldn't have even come" Josh mumbles to himself.

"What?"

"I wasn't careful, I basically threw it in his face! I knew he hated me and I still showed up at his grandmas funeral." He says, raising his voice.

"It's my grandmothers funeral too!" I snap at him.

Josh is silent as he stands across from me. Guilt snuck it's way into my soul as I stared at his guilty expression. I knew it didn't mean it like that I just got defensive.

"Then why did you come Josh?"

His drags his green eyes up to meet mine.

"For you, I wanted to be there for you if you needed me"

"Well there you go. You didn't come for Logan, you didn't come for my parents. You came for me Josh and you have no idea how much that means to me. You were there when I needed you. I hated cried since dad told me, I couldn't. My whole body was numb and I felt so empty inside."

"But when I saw you I didn't even think about anything except how safe I was with you."

Something flickers behind his eyes and he steps closer to me, closing the space between us.