The Boy in the Jersey ✔️

28

Chapter 28

Tuesday rolled around very slowly. I haven't moved from my bedroom since Friday when I got home. I haven't eaten, I haven't slept. I was just there, curled up in a ball in my room. My mom and Thalia had spent an hour trying to get me up so I could shower and get ready for the funeral.

I barely could register what they were saying to me. They finally got me to get my ass up. I trudged into the bathroom and turned on the water as hot as it would go before slowly peeling my four day old clothes off of me. I study myself in the mirror as the steam fills up the bathroom. The reflection of the broken girl staring back at me becomes foggy and I finally tear my eyes away and step into the shower.

The hot water burned as it touched my skin but I didn't have it in me to turn down the temperature. I half heartedly wash myself and don't even bother to shave before stepping out of the shower. I wrap the scratchy towel around my body and return to my room where Thalia and my mom are waiting for me.

Mom had laid out an outfit on my bed for me. It was a black dress that I had wore plenty of times before. It was my favorite. It went to just above my knees and had three quarter sleeves. She had also gotten a pair of black tights out for me to wear and my black ballerina flats that I hadn't wore since my first day of high school.

I slowly get changed into my outfit and brush out the knots in my hair before taking a seat in front of my mirror. I picked up my makeup brush and just stared at it. I didn't have the energy to use it.

Thalia came over to me and gently grabbed it from my hand before giving me a sweet smile. I attempt to smile back at her but it comes out more like a grimace. She grabs my eyeshadow palette off my desk and starts to work on my makeup.

My mom walks back in to the room with some hair products and steps behind me to work on my hair. My attention goes to my flaking polish on my nails as I begin to pick at it.

A few minutes pass before my mom completes the french braid and steps away from me. Thalia quickly finishes up my makeup and does the same. I will myself to look at my reflection again. This time when I look I feel a little better about myself. I didn't look broken anymore.

Thalia had done light makeup, just a little blush to liven up my face with color, and silver eyeshadow. My eyelashes were long and dark due to the mascara and the thick black wing on my eye tied it together.

"I'll see you guys there" Thalia says with a smile before leaving my room.

My mom places her hands on my shoulders and kisses the top of my head.

"You can do this honey. I know you can" she tells me in a sweet voice.

I knew she was worried about me, my whole family was. They were all afraid I was going to go back to how I was before, I started closing myself off and acting the same way.

"I'm scared mommy" I whisper to her.

That was the first time I had spoken in four days. My voice was raspy and my throat was dry and scratchy. It took a second for my mom to respond.

"I know baby." She says with tears in her eyes.

**

The funeral went by quickly. I didn't pay attention to half of it, I couldn't bring myself to listen to someone that didn't even know grandma, talk about her and her life. Dad had cried the whole time along with grandpa. Mom held his hand the whole time and cried towards the end. Logan's eyes were classy but he didn't let any of the tears fall, Thalia was sitting in between us and had each of our hands clasped tightly in hers.

Watching them lower the oak casket into the ground is when it finally became real to me. I didn't want to believe she was actually gone.

My hand instinctively went to the diamond around my neck as I watched grandpa and my dad each take a handful of dirt and drop it on top of her casket. Her sister and brother follow suit before they all step back again.

I couldn't bring myself to watch as they began to cover her up. I turned my head away and towards the trees when a one armed figure caught my eye.

I didn't even think I just acted as my feet pounding against the grass. I run into his arms and he stumbles slightly but quickly regains his footing.

He good arm wraps around me and he pulls me into his solid body. That's when I lost it. Four days of pain and grief came flooding out of me as I sobbed into his chest. My arms wrapped tightly around his waist as he leaned his head down and nuzzled into my neck.

"I'm so sorry baby" he whispers to me.

I squeeze his body tighter and my knees get weak. I collapse to the ground and he goes with me, never letting me go.

He sits on the ground with his back against a tree and he pulls me into his lap. I have one leg on either side of him and my face still buried in his chest. I breath in the pine and spice scent that I had grown to love as I try and focus only on the patterns he's drawing on my back.

Between his comforting touch and the slow, steady beat of his heart, I was able to calm myself down. I lift my head and wipe my eyes as I hiccup.

Josh's hand goes to my face as he cups my cheek and wipes under my eyes with his thumb. His hand moves to the back of my neck and he places a kiss on my forehead before dragging his hand down my arm.

His fingers entwine with mine and I finally get the nerve to look him in the eyes. His beautiful emerald eyes held such sadness in them, if I had anything more to break, it would be shattered.

"Thank you for coming" I whisper.

Josh flashes me a small smile before placing another quick kiss to my cheek.

"Is there anything I can do Kelly?"

"Just hold me" I mumble as I lay my head back on his chest.

I cried myself dry, I didn't have anything else to give of myself. My head was pounding and my heart ached with an indescribable pain.

I didn't know what to do, all I knew was that right now in his arms, it was the first time I felt relaxed in awhile. I latch my body onto his and he just held me.

•

This chapter was so hard to write but I really love how it came out! It's so sad yet it's one of my favorites.

The next few chapters have lots of drama happening and you'll finally see why she goes to jail!

Is it for the reason you think????