The Boy in the Jersey ✔️

32

Chapter 32

Josh and I sat in silence as we waited for our food. Neither of us said a word to each other. This wasn't how we usually were around each other. This was just.. awkward.

Delia kept coming to the table and trying to get his attention but eventually gave up after many failed attempts.

I couldn't handle this. I didn't like it and I wasn't used to it.

"How long do you have to be in a sling for?" I ask attempting to break the uncomfortable silence.

"It's coming off in a couple days. It wasn't a severe enough crack that I had to keep it on for the whole six weeks."

"Do you miss football?"

Josh shrugs slightly and takes a sip out of the water he ordered after he finished his milkshake.

"How did your dad take the news?"

A shadow crosses his face at the mention of his father. His shoulders became tense and a muscle in his jaw was tightening.

"As to be expected I guess."

My stomach knotted at the thought of his father hitting him. I hated that he went through that.

"Why haven't you left? You're eighteen now."

"Where am I supposed to go?" He spits with a raised voice

I cower down and my bottom lip quivers slightly. I didn't know what was wrong with him, he never acted like this. I drop my gaze to the table. Delia comes back a few seconds later and places our food in front of us. The burger in front of me smelled delicious but by now I had lost my appetite. I slowly pick up a fry and take a bite out of it to distract myself.

"Kelly I'm sorry. That was really uncalled for." Josh says to me.

I couldn't bring myself to answer him. I wanted too, but I couldn't get the words out.

He lets out a deep breath before he slides out of the booth and stands up. He walks toward the bathroom and disappears around the corner. Just as soon as he's gone Delia comes back up to the table. She had her arms crossed over her chest and an evil glare directed toward me.

"You stay away from Josh. He's mine." She says with venom laced through her voice.

Any other day I would've just listened, but I was on my last leg. I couldn't help the eye roll.

Delia responded by grabbing my Dr. Pepper and pouring it over my head.

I gasp and shoot out of the booth as the cold liquid seeped through my dress.

"That's a warning" Delia says before stalking away from me.

I grab a handful of napkins and start wiping up the mess in the booth and on the table. My skin had gotten sticky from the spilled beverage. I pull my hair back and away from my face as Josh approaches the table again.

"What the fuck happened?" He asked as he tries to grab my arm.

I rip it out of his grip before turning on my heel and walking out of the diner. Josh is quick to follow me, I hear him say something to the manager before he's trailing behind me.

"Kelly Wait up what happened in there?"

I ignored him and rushed past his car and toward the sidewalk. I didn't know where I was but I was going home.

"Kelly!" Josh shouts as his warm calloused fingers wrap around my wrist.

He spins me around the face him and the anger on his face was scary.

"Tell me what happened to you. I wasn't even gone five minutes"

"That - That bitch in there poured my drink over my head because I was here with you."

"Delia? She wouldn't do that"

My eyes narrow as I direct a glare at him.

"Ask anybody in that diner Josh!"

"Okay. I'm sorry. I don't know why she's been acting strange today"

"It's obvious that she likes you"

I watch as his green eyes widen.

"Oh come on. Don't tell me you don't know?"

"Know what?" He asks with a confused expression on his handsome face.

"You're hot Josh. Anybody with eyes can see that, and it doesn't help that you're the nicest guy on the planet. So for you to go to a place with someone like me whose boobs and butt are to big for her body then of course people are going to act like that."

"I don't-"

"You're to good for me, you're way out of my league. I don't even understand why you hang out with me! You haven't asked me to be your girlfriend but you act like we're dating. You've made me fall in love with you and it sucks not having someone love you back! I blurted it out right in front of my family and you haven't said a thing about it. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?"

""Kelly I-"

"I can't keep going back and forth with you like this. I'm so screwed up and whatever the hell is going on between us, whatever we had or didn't have has messed me up even more."

"What are you saying?"

I force myself to look into his beautiful green eyes. I saw the different emotions swirling around in them. I was torn on what to do. But I knew I needed to do what was best for me. Even if it was going to break my heart.

"I think that we just need some time apart Josh. I can't keep doing this to myself or to you. It isn't fair. I need to work on myself before I can even begin to think about working on anything else."

The cold October air had finally gotten to me as I awaited his response. I was cold and sticky and sad. I just wanted to go home.

"Is that really what you want?" He asks in a low voice.

"It doesn't matter if I want it. It's what I need. I need to heal myself so I don't keep bringing you down with me. It isn't fair to you."

He stares intently at me before giving me a brief nod.

"Let me at least give you a ride home."

I don't respond to him, I just start walking towards his truck. He gets in shortly after I do and starts the monster. He adjusts the vents again and turns up the heat before pulling out of the parking space and driving towards my house.

The ride home was filled with more awkward silence than we had at the diner. The air was thick with tension and my stomach was in knots. I felt the bile rise in my throat as the reality of what just happened set in.

When he finally pulled in front of my house I open the door and run into the bathroom, where I lean over the toilet and puke out the contents of my empty stomach. I hadn't said goodbye. I hadn't thanked him. I hadn't realized how bad I was until today.

I needed time to fix myself if I ever wanted a future with him. I couldn't be the broken insecure girl I was. I needed to accept the fact that I'm not good enough for him and give myself a chance to breath.