VHope Fluffshots

Worship [s]

"Taehyung, what on earth are you doing?" Hoseok giggled as I picked him up, lifting him over my shoulder as I guided us to my room. 

He started beating on my lower back, demanding me to put him down, but his antics only made me giggle, smacking him on the ass in retaliation of his abuse. "Stop it! I'm just trying to treat you nice!" I whined when I earned a hit to my own ass. 

Over the past few weeks, I could tell that my husband wasn't too happy with himself - he wasn't too happy with anything, really. I knew he had moments where his mood would swing low, hanging around rock bottom for a while, before he would be happy again. Everyone had moments like that, even me, but I always had Hoseok to make me feel better. He trusted me to do the same to him. 

The lamp on our bedside table shone brightly as I plopped Hoseok down on our bed, listening to his cute little giggles as he bounced a few times. "You're always nice to me, TaeTae. You don't have to actively go out of your way to make me notice it," he said, a frown crossing his face as I closed our curtains, blocking out the nightlife. "Seriously, Taehyung, what's going on?" 

I sat down on the edge of the bed next to my husband, staring deep into his eyes. I could see how sadness swam in them, along with self-doubt and other negative things. To anyone else, he was his usual self, but I knew him so much better than that; I could see through his mask. 

"Hoseok-hyung, you're doing it again." That was all I needed to say; Hoseok understood immediately. 

He let out a long, defeated sigh, running a hand over his face. "I'm sorry, Taehyung, I just -"

"No, don't apologize," I cut in, my fingers lightly wrapping around his wrist to pull his hand away from his face, "I just want to know what's going on in that beautiful mind of yours. I want to know what I can do to make it better." 

And it was true; we always had deep talks whenever one of us weren't mentally okay, because we both knew that we wouldn't stop trying until the other was completely happy again. That was why all of our friends supported us getting married, even if we were the only gay couple in our friend group. We knew how each other worked, and our friends could see that. 

Hoseok let his head hang between his shoulders, folding himself over the bed. He stared at the floor between his feet, and I just knew he was trying to put sentences together to describe how he was feeling. 

I didn't talk; instead, I rubbed his back while he thought, patiently waiting for him to get whatever he wanted to say together. 

Eventually, he cleared his throat. "Taehyung, I don't even know. I've just been feeling really ugly lately, as well as like everything has slipped out of my control. Working is fucking me over - we're losing customers and I'm running out of ideas to get them back - and all the pressure is on me and..." He had to pause; he was getting overwhelmed. 

I rested my chin on his shoulder, feeling the heat radiating off of him. "And I know this isn't your fault - it's not anyone's fault - but I've just been feeling really unloved, too. And maybe that's why I feel so ugly. And I know it's putting pressure on you because you've been put on night shift at the hospital and working in the ER is taking up all of your time, but still. I just can't help it." 

I wasn't mad, but I did feel quite upset with myself at the fact that Hoseok felt unloved. It was true I had been at work more than I have at home - we both were, but for completely different jobs.

The charge nurse for the month had put me on a crazy schedule; I had to work from five in the evening to nine in the morning. When I would get home, Hoseok would have already left, so I showered, did laundry, ate, then went to sleep until I had to do it all over again the next day.