Poem a Week Challenge

Monster (Elephantinabox)

Monster

My creator looks at me in disgust

And turns away

Her flicking ponytail as she walks away

Is more than a familiar image

I barely whisper

"Are you afraid of what you've created?"

My once flawless skin is now a wreck of scars of hurt

My blackened lips

From trying to say the lies that will make you ok

My dull eyes

From sleepless nights

Full of conversations that only spiral down

With things you really should've told your therapist

Not your 13 yr old girlfriend.

My ears broken

From listening for words never said

The weeks of silence

So full of noises

But I longed so much for any of them to be made by you

My flattened nose

Hit by every mean remark

When things didn't go quite your way

My trembling hands

As you've trained me so well now

I'll punish myself if I make a mistake

My blue blood

Loyal to you

Only to you

Need to look after you

Keep you alive

Or my mattered skins not worth it

My churning stomach

The feels everything and nothing at once

Gave depressions and anxiety capital letters

But that was always nothing

Compared to your pain, your struggles

That soaked the wood in water to keep it from ever lighting a spark of rebellion

Whenever I tried to talk

Waving for a rescue rope

From the bottom of the pit

You only jumped down too

And made me ashamed for even crying out

I'm the monster you made

One dark night

In a flash of despair

When you told me you wanted to die

This was created to keep you alive

You made me

Yet I paid the price

Anything, anything to keep you happy

Till it tears me apart enough

That I can see right through what she's made of me

So I decide to leave

I will change my life around

New friends to replace the ones we shared

New paths to avoid the ones you tread on

New filters to block out your voice you laugh which hurts in such a pure way

broke up with you

Or rather pleaded for you to let me go

So now

I am the devil

The bitch

The heartbreaker

I shout

"why did you never tell me you were getting better, as I crumbled to ruins?"

"You made me, at a time when no one else is creating monsters, couldn't you have least made me a friend"

And shout

" you know, sometimes when I worried so much I had convinced myself that you were dead. I felt relieved"

But you don't even flicker in acknowledgment

So that's why I'm a monster

With my

My scars of pain, one that I hurt enough to carve

My black lips

My dull eyes

You look at me in disgust

The minute I decide I want to leave

You tell me what a monster I've become

Ha!

Though you now shun me

I am your reflection

Your protector

Your monster

As you walk away

Ponytail flickering in the wind

In the sublime scenery stuck in my head

I know I will have to learn to love

This monster I've become.