Afraid Of Love (Namjin)

32- Parents

KIM SEOKJIN POV
I walk down the quiet empty bedroom. "what song are you going to play?" Jungkook asks walking next to me, "I don't know yet but let's just get to the dorm to choose a song" I say and reach my dorm.

"yeah whatever I just hope you choose a good song because th-" he stops talking when I open the door and spots two strangers in the dorm talking to bambam and Jinyoung.

The two strangers turn around, "Mom? Dad?" I ask looking at them surprisingly. My dad smiles but my mom had a emotionless face, "Son, oh... How I have missed you" dad says standing up and hugging me.

I hug him back. "I missed you" he whispers in my ear. My dad has always been supportive towards my sexuality and choices, he was always there for me when I was a little kid. My mom would be the one that didn't care about me... She was really strict and didn't accept homosexual people, and she will never.

I mean she would be nice sometimes but most of the time she was just yelling at me. I tell my dad "I miss you too" and he lets go and makes me sit on the chair in front of them. "well we will be leaving for you guys to have some privacy" Jinyoung says dragging Bambam, and Jungkook.

They close the door behind them, I look at my parents confuse of what they are doing here. "Did I raise you like this?" My mom asks in a calm voice but inside she was furious, "um.... What do you mean?" I ask calmly trying to not make my mother mad. "did I raise you to be starting fights, getting bad grades, and hanging out with those disgusting homosexual people?" My mom asks with a strict voice.

"Mom th-" I say before I'm interrupted by the booming voice of my mother. She stands up and raises her hand at me, then I feel a burning sting on my cheek "DO YOU REALLY THINK I RAISED YOU TO BE A DISAPPOINTMENT IN THIS FAMILY!! DON'T YOU KNOW HOW I SUFFER BEING A MOTHER OF A DISGUSTING HOMOSEXUAL KID!!??" she shouts at me.

My dad pulls her back and makes her sit down but she won't move. She would always treat me like this when I was a kid and I came out on here, she would always slap me and hit me every single day. I been hurt to much, this pain inside me had been building up and turning into anger, I just can't take it anymore.

"YOU CALL YOURSELF MY MOTHER?? YOU WERE NEVER THERE WHEN I NEEDED YOU THE MOST!! YOU WEREN'T THERE WHEN I HAD MY FIRST PIANO PERFORMANCE, YOU WERE NEVER IN ONE SINGLE PERFORMANCE I WAS IN!! YOU WERE NEVER A MOTHER TO ME,  IF YOU HATE ME THAT MUCH WHY DON'T YOU JUST FUCKING GET OUT AND LEAVE ME ALONE!! I AT LEAST MADE FRIENDS THAT KNOW HOW I FEEL!! AND THIS IS MY LIFE I CAN DO WHAT I WANT, SO GET YOUR UGLY FUCKING ASS OUT OF THIS FUCKING ROOM OR I'M LEAVING!! AND I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU EVER AGAIN" I shout at her.

The room becomes silent, I grab my jacket and walk out of the room. "Son!! Jin!!" I hear my dad calling for me but I shut the door and run down the hallway.

I run out the building and get in my car.

My eyes start to well up with tears, I turn the car on and drive off. I wipe my tears with my sleeve but the tears continue to fall down my cheek. I drive to the dock, it's already night so no one should be there at this time. I park my car and turn it off getting out.

I walk to the dock and sit down. I take my shoes off and dip my feet in, I continue to sob. She was never a mother to me. Tears start to fall uncontrollably, everytime I try to hide the pain always finds me. The pain even wins sometimes, I'm trying to act like someone I'm not. I wipe away the tears and continue to sob.

FLASHBACK (10 YEARS AGO)
I quickly run down stairs with the paper in my hands, "Eomma! Eomma!!" I call out and run to the kitchen to see my mother drinking a cup of coffee while looking at the newspaper.

She doesn't look up. "Eomma look I made a drawing of our family for you" I say showing her my drawing, she looks at it and then looks back at the newspaper. She doesn't even look at me and just nods, I pout. "Eom-" I cry before she interrupts me "go clean your room and do your homework, I don't want to see you right now, and grab this paper and throw it away, it's ugly like you" she says and stands up throwing the cup in the sink and going to her room.

My baby eyes start to well up with tears, I sob uncontrollably. I grab the paper and rip my mom out of the picture and throw it in the table. I feel my eyes start to go black. I grab a knife and stab the picture of my mom, I shout and continue stabbing. I cut myself and my eyes turn back normal.  Tears fall down my cheeks.

I let go of the knife and it falls down on the floor, I fall to the ground and sob. She turned me into a person I'm not suppose to be. She put so much pain in me that I don't even know who I am.

I'm a monster.....

SORRY THE CHAPTER IS SHORT... I WILL TRY TO UPDATE FASTER IF I CAN....