Jenalyn: Daring to Defy (#1)[Complete]

Chapter 44: Dane

Tuesday, 1:34 A.M.

Jenalyn is fucked up. That's been obvious since practically the moment I shoved the needle in her arm. I mean, it was to be expected, but still- it doesn't make it any easier.

"Lil Bit..." I shove her slumped body until the last bit of life in her comes to the forefront to reanimate. "How're you feeling?"

I've given her 4 doses in the last.. two hours? I know how she's feeling. But I still wait for her response before continuing.

"I feel sick..." she whimpers, faltering back off into her doze for a second before letting out a pitiful groan.

I flick the syringe I hold to my face, measuring out the dosage one more time before tightening the wrap around her arm. She's going to be walking a really fine line after this dose.. hopefully this bitch doesn't end up losing her life rather than the bastard trying to grow inside of her.

"You're gonna be, Lil Bit." I say under my breath, poking the needle into her vein once more. This brings her back from her doze again, and she's quick to pick up the whining.

"I feel.. sick." She groans again.

My heart wants to feel something for her. To hold her, and tell her I'm sorry that I had to do this.

I know better.. I know, for one, that this kid isn't mine. And that alone is enough to warrant taking these measures. That alone is enough to help me grow furious, enough to easily bypass what my heart wants right now.

This is what my heart needs. Because I'm not going to sit here every day with a constant reminder of how unfaithful this bitch is to me.

Jena starts to slump over onto my lap in another one of her dozes, only to snap awake when I shove her back into an upright position. "You want a baby, Jena?" I ask, pulling a cigarette from the nightstand beside where I kneel and lighting it.

I can feel my blood wanting to rush through my veins, but a part of me doesn't allow it to.

Jena groans for a moment, but nods her head and peeks up at me through bedheaded hair. I can't tell if she even knows what she's responding to, but I continue anyway.

"You'll never have one.. know why?" I pause for a moment, not really expecting a response from her. She shakes her head though, and mumbles something about having a baby one day.

I'm quick to interject.

"-No," I say rather calmly, taking a drag from my cigarette with one hand while I grab her jaw to hold her gaze to mine with the other. "You'll never have a baby.. not because you're 'one of the girls,' because honestly- babygirl you're .. a little more than that."

Jena starts dozing again as I hold her face, but I don't even bother to tighten my grip to wake her. "You'll never have one, because with you, I could never be 100% sure that kid was mine until it was born... and I don't gamble, Lil Bit."