Jenalyn: Daring to Defy (#1)[Complete]

Chapter 102: Jenalyn

Monday, 12:43 A.M.

I don't know at what point the monster that wanted to take me over fell dormant again, leaving me to stir about what I'd done- but I just now start to feel the panic of it all set in.

I had sex with Rob...

I step out of the shower, once again standing among the billowing steam around me- and once again feeling absolutely terrible inside.

Worse inside than I felt just a few hours ago stepping out of this same shower.

I can't help the tears that begin to steadily roll down my cheeks as I find myself falling to the floor in heartache.

Can one break their own heart?

I did it. I don't even know why, or how- but I did it. No! The monster I found in my mind did- but I let it...

"I've got to get out of here..." I say out loud, though I thought it was just a thought passing through my head.  "I've got to get the fuck out of here!"

Rob left to get himself a few beers before I jumped in the shower... I haven't heard him come back yet- and I don't want to be here when he does.  

I pull myself from the floor, throwing on the same and only clothes I have here- my bloody 'I'm gonna meet Harlee Gold' outfit. I tiptoe out of the bathroom though I know the room is empty.

I've got to get the fuck out of here!

12:56 A.M.

It's the only person I can think to call, and honestly... I call expecting no answer. 

I need to do something though!

I'm back to square one now, wandering the dark Philly streets alone with no one to turn to, and nowhere to go... Only now, in addition to all of the pain I already lugged around- I carry around a ten ton bag of guilt with me... shame, even. 

The phone rings more times than it'd take someone to answer if they were going to. Just as I suspected- it goes to voicemail. 

I don't even know why I leave a message, but after a short recording I find myself practically crying into the phone. 

"It's Jenalyn... and I think I changed my mind about the room for a night." I say uncertainly. I almost want to hang up- just forget it. It was probably just an offer because she knew that's all it'd be at the time. I continue though- my options, if any, too limited to be picky. "-if that deal is still available. I'm sorry to call so late, but... something happened."

I hang up without saying anyhing else, my tears beginning to stream too quickly for my words to remain legible anyway.  

Within moments, my phone is ringing.