Are You Crying, Too?

Don't leave me

*Buddum, buddum*

My hearts beat was the only thing I could hear.  It echoed throughout my mind and body, blocking out any outward sound.  The only other thing that I noticed were the thoughts in my head.  And those thoughts kept repeating the same sentence over and over.

'Phthonus is dead.'

I was still in a state of shock.  After the initial grieving process, everything hazed over.  I couldn't tell what was happening or where I was.  I didn't care about knowing that either.  There was only one thing that I cared about.  And that was the fact that the one I love is gone.  Forever.  I'll never meet him again.  That time me and Phthonus kissed on the rooftop...  That was the last time that we would ever kiss.  And that time that Phthonus hugged me once everyone in the area was killed...  That was the last time that I would ever feel his embrace.  Why did I let him go?  Why couldn't I have saved him..?

I knew that I only loved him because of a simple order...  But even if the love was fake...  The grief I currently feel as a result of that love is far to real.  It made me feel...  Sort of empty inside.  As if grief was the only emotion that filled my heart. 

"Deku..?" A voice that sounded like a female asked.  I didn't answer.  I then faintly felt my shoulders being shaken.  I shook my head to try and remove whatever dulled my senses.  My eyes clenched before opening up and showing me where I was.

"Huh..?" I asked, my voice groggy. 

"Deku..!  You had me worried!" A slightly high-pitched voice said.  A woman was standing in front of me.  She had hazel eyes and brown hair.

"Uraraka..?" I looked at my surroundings.  The place looked slightly familiar, as if I had already scanned the place, but had forgotten what it looked like a few seconds after. 

"I thought you were...  I don't know...  Uh-," Uraraka was cut off by a large slam.

*Slam*

I jumped.  Uraraka walked away from me, her black dress slightly swaying as she moved.  She hasn't changed since before the memorial.

"Oh..!  Bakugou, you're back!" I heard her say.  My shaking body stood up and walked over to Uraraka.  Kachan was standing by a door, presumably one that lead to the outside.  Kachan looked at me, his facial expression becoming softer.  He walked by Uraraka and whispered in her ear.  She whispered something back and he nodded.  Kachan then walked over to me.

"Hey..." He said.  We stared at each other, neither of us saying a single word.  It's been so long since we've seen each other.  It's been about half of a year.  I was on patrol when I last saw him.  He had just walked past me angrily and had ignored me completely.

"Kachan..." I began as I lowered my eyes so that my bangs were covering their dull look, "Why did you hold me back..?"

Kachan kept his gaze on my face, "Because I didn't want to let you go...  Even if I thought you weren't Deku, I-... "

Kachan didn't continue his sentence.  A glossy sheet of water coated my eyes.  I slowly shook my head.  My body started to shake as I began to sob.

"Deku..." Uraraka mumbled.  Kachan turned his head to her and got her attention before he nodded at the door.  Uraraka took a quick look at me before she went to the kitchen and got the mushroom-girl.  Then, they left the house. 

Kachan turned to me and, with a small sigh, hugged me.

"Listen...  Everything will be alright..." He said.  I snuggled my head into his neck, but I kept my hands at my side.  My tears fell down my face and crawled down Kachan's back like a rushing river.  Kachan started to slowly rub my back in an attempt to sooth my crying.  I calmed down.

We stood there, with Kachan holding me in his arms, for what seemed an eternity.  Me, crying my heart out, and Kachan, doing his best to sooth me.  He softly whispered things like 'it's alright,' and 'let it all out,' into my ear. 

My tears slowly came to a halt.  I looked behind Kachan and tried to gather my thoughts.  I then let out a quiet sigh as the Phthonus's death finally settled itself into my brain.  I no longer tried to reject reality. 

"Kachan..." I mumbled.  Kachan's grip on me tightened.  He's rested his head on top of mine. 

"Deku..." Kachan said.  We both stood there in the silence that followed our words.  Before long, Kachan backed away from me.  He stared into my eyes before he lightly grabbed my hand.

"You can sleep in my room for now," Kachan stated.  I nodded my head and Kachan lead me to his room.  I walked over to the bed before I preceded to sit down on it.  I looked at Kachan nervously.  I didn't want to be alone.  He was standing by the door, peering at my pitiful form.  He then gave me a soft smile before he turned around.

"Wait..!" I yelled at him, " Please..!  Don't leave me... "

Kachan turned his head to look at me in shock.  I abruptly stood up and started at his eyes, my own eyes showing nothing but sadness.

"Please, Kachan.  I don't want to be alone," I pleaded for him to stay.  Kachan's eyes softened. 

He walked over to me, "I wouldn't even think of leaving you alone."

"Kachan..." I mumbled, "...  Thank you..."

Even though my tear ducts was almost empty, I cried.  I didn't deserve to have someone by my side.  I killed all of those people...  Anne he was me do it.  Why is he still by my side..?  Why doesn't he turn me into the police?  Why didn't...  Why didn't he kill me..?  I should be killed for what I did.

"Thank you for being by my side...  Thank you so much, Kachan,"  I jumped at Kachan and wrapped  my arms around his torso.  It took a moment before his arms embraced me.

"Kachan..!" I snuggled my head into his neck and let my tears flow freely.  Kachan rubbed his nose against my forehead.

"You should get to sleep, Deku," He whispered.  I nodded and slowly let go of him.  I sat on the bed and looked up at Kachan.

"Don't worry.  I'm not gonna leave you," He gave me a reassuring smile.  I never saw him smile at me before today...  Things have really changed, haven't they?

I tucked myself under the beds blankets and breathed in softly, enjoying the new-found warmth.  I then felt the bed dip as Kachan sat down beside my laying body.  I grabbed his name and held it tightly in mine.  Kachan leaned down and kissed me on my forehead.  He was treating me like a child... 

"To to sleep," He ordered.  I look into his eyes and nodded.  I thought that Phthonus would haunt my dreams, but the warmth my hand felt was keeping it away.  I would mourn Phthonus for a long while, but now...  I needed to relax.  I'd go crazy if I mourned him all day...  But still...  It hurt...  Yet, the pain was soothed by Kachan...  He was healing me, ever so slowly...  He was keeping my thoughts off of Phthonus...  So that it could mourn him in a better state of mind later on.

"Thank you, Kachan..." Those were the last words that I mumbled before I feel into a peaceful sleep.