Are You Crying, Too?

Anything

Phthonus couldn't stop giggling.  The vibrations coming from him pushed off of the walls and echoed through my ears, making the shock of what I said pound me into the depths of my own mind.  Those words repeated themselves in my mind.  I love you.  They were stuck there permanently, forever forcing themselves to invade my thoughts.  It made me realize that I ment what I said.  I ment it when I said that I loved him.  That fact alone made me want to run away from everything.

I loved him.  Even though he hurt me, even though he put me through pure, tortures agony, I loved him.  I didn't even realize that I had fallen for him until I spouted those three words.  I knew that the love I felt was formed by his order, but it was real.  It was completely and utterly real.

"I love you, too, Izuku," Phthonus's chuckles came to an end.  He stood up from his seat and left his untouched plate to walk to my side.  He stopped walking when he was behind my chair.  Phthonus grabbed both sides of the chair before reaching his right hand to my chin and leaning his head over the chair to see me.  He rested his cheek on the chair as he stared at me, smiling. 

He titled my head so that I could see him as he spoke, "Does that mean you'll be my boyfriend?" 

I shook violently out of his hold as I stood up and turned around, my legs pushing the chair away from me to make room to stand.  Phthonus slightly jumped at the sudden action.

"No!" I shouted.  My eyes closed and I clutched my hair.  How could I have let myself fall for him?  Didn't I love someone else?  I bowed my head, my hands gripping my hair tighter.  What was I supposed to do?

"I won't be your boyfriend!  I won't, Phthonus!" I could almost feel Phthonus's frown form.  The sound of footsteps coming closer to me made me open my eyes.  I watched as Phthonus move the chair away from me and hug me by bringing his arms around my neck.  I tried to break away from his hold, but my muscles were almost nonexistent due to the strenuous torture that I had been through.  Tears forced their way pass my eyes.  

"Shhh, everything will be okay.  Everything is fine," Phthonus whispered.  My arms instinctively wrapped around his body.  I buried my chin into his hair, trying to seek comfort in the waves of white.

Phthonus pulled back to grab my chin and force me into a soft kiss of comfort.  When he pulled back, we stared at each other until he decided to reach his hand up and twirl my fluffy hair.  A small blush started growing on my cheeks.

"Uh-..." I didn't know what to say.  The author didn't give me my lines.  Maybe she's having writers block?

"Did you eat your fill, Izuku?" Phthonus asked.  I nodded.  He smiled before he pulled out of my embrace.

"Well then, let's start training," He walked away from me and headed to a door that I have yet to go through. 

"Huh?" I questioned, unaware of what he meant by 'training.'

"I told you I was going to make you the number one villain, didn't I?" I froze.  I had forgotten that he wanted to make me a villain.  The one thing that I never wanted to be.  I was ment to put villains to justice, to save peoples lives from ending to soon.  I was Deku, the hero.  Not Deku, the villain.  I refuse to become a villain!  I won't, not if it costs me my life.

"I won't become a villain, Phthonus," I stated.  Phthonus looked back at my determination expression.  He opened his mouth and showed me the silver tooth that was embedded in his gums.

"Don't make me order you around more than I have to, Izuku," He said.  I glance around the room, desperately trying to find something that I could harm myself with.  I looked at the kitchen counter and saw the knife that Phthonus used for cooking.  I ran to it and put it up against the main artery in my wrist.

"I'll kill myself before I become a villain!" I shouted.  Phthonus just looked at my direction with a board face.  Why was he acting so different from earlier?  He was so lovey-dovey, but now...

" Izuku, " He paused, "Put the knife down.  I don't want to punish you for trying to hurt yourself, so don't do it again." I stared at him as I agonisingly put down the knife.  Why didn't I kill myself before he ordered me to do it?  With One for All, I could kill thousands of people.  With his power, he could make me kill those people.  If I was a hero, the right thing to do would be to kill myself, and not become someone who hurts others.  There was still a loupe hole to his order.  He said that I couldn't hurt myself.  As long as I find a way to kill myself without any sort of pain, then I'll be able to do it.  I was determined to not hurt anyone.

Phthonus looked at me before sighing, "Don't go trying to kill yourself, either.  Have you forgotten that I could read minds?" I froze yet again.  

"You will become a villain, Izuku.  I promise you that," Phthonus stare at me, " Now, follow me."
I did as he ordered and followed him.  Was their any way to not become a villain?  If I do become a villain...  Who will stop me?  Would Todoroki be powerful enough to kill me, or at least, capture me?  What about- who was it again?  I don't remember their name, but whoever took the number one hero spot after me.  The one that I know I used to love.  Would they be able to stop me?  How would I feel if I killed them?  Would I even recognize them?

I felt as if something in the back of my head was repeating something.  It was hazed over, but I could hear it.  I couldn't tell what it said.  All I knew was that it was there.

'------.'

I focused on trying to hear the word while I walked with Phthonus to the training room.  I was sure that if I found out what the word was, then I would be able to get out of this mess.