My Personal Virus (A BEN Drowned x Reader fanfic)

Escaping from Nightmares

(You)

Days, weeks, and finally a month has passed ever since that Toby situation occurred, as expected I didn't bother to mention any of it. I couldn't believe myself anymore, why would I help a murderer? Well sure Toby did try to hurt me though it wasn't the point, the question is WHY?! I could have just let him do the work but no, my mind decided to think it was a GREAT idea to help him. I simply felt furious because of myself but also at him(majority at myself).

Unfortunately, Helen and I lost contact. Being stuck in a room for a month surely was enough to make me go insane, but to be honest...I just missed his presence, his voice and probably his embrace. I know I don't know him completely, it's just...I never expected to be instantly attached to him. Helen was one of my source of enjoyment in this place full of nightmares, without him I wouldn't be distracted from the misery I am in. Though a thought from the back of my mind told me it was for the better, maybe it's because I didn't know him well and I'll probably just end up disappointed if I finally do.

BEN hasn't done anything severe to me, I was glad about it secretly but I would not let my guard down. Nightmares have been torturing me lately, dreams that consisted of the tragedy that happened to me in all various and different versions, always at the end someone dies and mostly it was me. I was slowly having the urge to be gone from existence, perhaps it was because of these nightmares and loneliness. Slowly I realized that I didn't have much of a purpose anymore, I couldn't do the things that I wish and the things I should. People in my situation would be desperate to escape, but somehow I found myself embracing the insanity that was waiting for me, I was accepting the death that I could possibly run from. 

Why don't I just kill myself?

I failed to find the answer from that question, but I know it has one. Once again I sat on the bed, alone and with my ankle chained to the bed, I could have just found a way to pick the lock of the chain and just escape easily though I didn't because I was tired, I was just tired of living in general. I could see the sunset from the window facing towards the bed, it was so beautiful and peaceful to look at, the clouds turning from the shade of pink to orange, and the surroundings transforming from fascinating to dangerous especially in the dark. I found out that I was somewhere in a dense forest, thin trees were almost everywhere, it was slightly scary to look at honestly.

My eyes soon started to get heavy as soon as the sun disappeared from my sight, I wasn't looking forward to another nightmare 'cause this time I'm staying awake for god knows how long. It was challenging from preventing your eyes from closing for too long because of boredom, clearly, I need a distraction. Nothing in this room was too fascinating nor entertaining, well that explains why BEN does not often stay here. This alone is similar to those plain white rooms in mental asylums. The sound of the door opening caught my attention for a quick second, there he was but with a large grey comforter in hand, it was an odd sight.

We didn't make eye contact until he decided to glance at me only to continue to ignore my existence. The elf walked towards the small television facing the side of the bed, I noticed a long time ago that he actually stole my N64 back from home. 

Oh home, will everyone notice I was gone? Will anybody care for me? Will they search for me? It's sad to think that I don't have the answers to my own questions, it's like I was too tired to find a way to find it. Suddenly the feeling of homesick washed over me, it was painful to miss the house that I grew up in, the house that witnessed my development, the house that once held my family together. All of it was gone, all gone for eternity. It's like wishing on a useless shooting star.

I haven't noticed my gaze upon the t.v, I witnessed an unfamiliar 8-bit game that I was completely clueless about. BEN sitting on the floor with the comforter wrapped all over his body while he played his game, he was leaning against the bed inches near me. I found myself watching him play in order to distract me from my sleepy state. The game was not very interesting but the way the blonde elf was playing it did, I have seen him like this before so it was nothing new though it still fascinated me. This ghost looking elf that killed countless of people broke the law and destroyed my life who is also one sadistic asshole actually plays video games, I know in fiction that this was normal but when it comes to reality it's now a whole new story.