My Personal Virus (A BEN Drowned x Reader fanfic)

You're My Favorite Reason To Cry

(You)

What am I doing?!

I shouldn't be giving in, I shouldn't be acting like this, I shouldn't be falling for another obvious trick! God, that elf never gets satisfied. When will this actually end? I'm tired of waiting and asking myself.

BEN is acting unusual, perhaps it's another part of his trick but I can't help but feel something else rather than sinister. A few days have passed, he's been...taking good care of me, I'm not sure why the fuck I'm accepting all of this. There are times where we'd talk about unimportant things, and there are times where we'd stay silent and gaze at each other's eyes. It was awfully weird and it sickens me, the way he's acting made me frustrated along with me accepting whatever he gives without a clear reason.

My stomach would flip in the oddest way, I could never forget the last time our lips connected. I'm not sure if it meant anything but somehow I felt something I could not explain properly, and I would rather not. Everything was a loop, he would come to my room first in the morning to bring me breakfast and by noon he would still be there doing nothing then when evening comes after I take a shower(he always insisted me in doing) he would stay or talk to me until I would fall asleep. I was growing tired, eventually, I won't last long, one day he'll grow sick of me then start abusing me like before.

It was much better back when he was ignoring me, I could've just starved myself to death inside his room but apparently, he had other plans which didn't surprise me. Each night where I stay half awake with the elf still there beside me made me wonder, what if all of the things he said before was real?

It was officially morning, like before, I would sit up and wait for him to enter, I never knew why I did that. I thought about the large possibility to escape this place, though it would be hard once I do it since I don't know the location of where this place is making it easy for me to get lost. I also thought about killing myself but I don't have the proper things to do so, I could also just smash my head hard enough for my skull to break though I felt like there's something preventing me from doing so leaving me quite furious.

The door finally opened, there he was, with a tray of different food as he served it with a blank expression. The elf didn't say a word when he laid the tray of food on the bed, I stared at the delicious-looking waffles with some assorted berries on top, it sickened me, I somehow wished it was poisoned. It was dead silent, frustration took over me because of the unanswered questions left to be rotten in my head, I accepted reality and the terrible fate I have but I was not doing well. With my shaking fist, I swiftly threw the tray along with the food without care of it being wasted, anger was getting the best of me when BEN just simply stared at me blankly.

"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?!"

I shouted at him, he simply kept staring at me causing my anger to increase. I punched the mattress with gritted teeth and a groan.

"WHY CAN'T YOU JUST KILL ME?!"

I shouted again but he opened his mouth to speak, my mouth raced along with the anger in my veins, I stopped him before he could let out a word.

"YOU CAN'T KILL ME UNTIL YOU'RE SATISFIED, IS THAT IT? YOU DID THIS BEFORE, AND YOU'LL DO IT AGAIN, AREN'T YOU-"

My mind went blank after his own hand collided with my cheek in the most painful way, then he leaned forward as he pushed me down to the bed with his one hand gripping my throat. BEN suddenly kissed my lips, I gasped as I felt his cold hand sliding under my shirt as it went up to my skin towards my breasts. I couldn't move nor do something, of course, I didn't want this. The way he kissed me was forceful, it was obvious it didn't mean anything but rather something to shut my mouth, I started squirming when he started gripping one of my breasts. I never liked whatever he did to me, he crossed another line. I know we had sex before and I truly regretted it, but this feeling felt like the first time but more violent and lustful.