I Even Like His Shocking Pickup Lines [ShinKami]

Something Entirely Different

Shinsou was no stranger to jealousy, he'd envied people with far more heroic quirks than his for as long as he could remember. But when Kaminari talked so reverently about his crush, there was a new type of jealousy, nauseating and heavy, in the pit of his stomach.

Kaminari had dragged his feelings, kicking and screaming, from grudging tolerance to friendship.

But now, now they had merged into something entirely different.

He'd tried to ignore his growing feelings, he really had, but the more time he spent around him, and the more he got to know him, the worse it got. It had been like quicksand; the more he tried to fight it, the worse it got. As he'd discovered all the facets to his personality, he'd found himself drawn in and unable to get enough.

What the hell was he thinking? Hearing Kaminari talk with such admiration for his crush brought back the stark reality of just how unavailable he was. He scrubbed at his face and fell back onto his bed with a deep sigh.

The truth was, Shinsou was falling for him hard and fast.

And he felt like an absolute idiot for it.

He'd spent the better part of the last few weeks watching him try to get a date with a girl.

The problem was that Shinsou had never really felt this spark before and it terrified him, especially since it was directed at the one person who was so horrifically unavailable to him. What a joke. The one person he'd let himself get close to and he fell for them. What kind of sick, twisted fate was that?

He knew, he absolutely knew, how stupid it was. But he was drawn to him as one is to the edge of a crumbling cliff for a better view. He knew it was dangerous and yet he did it anyway even though it was destined for disaster.

He lay awake all night, as was the case of the nights when he couldn't turn his mind off; it's hard to sleep when your heart's at war with your head. His thoughts slowly became more and more toxic as the sleepless hours rolled into each other.

Some place deep inside him harboured a kernel of antagonistic hope. Was it that unlikely that Kaminari couldn't feel the same way about him? But as much as his self destructive thoughts let him imagine that Kaminari could return his feelings, he knew that it just wasn't possible.

In his more self torturing moments, he let himself imagine what it could be like with Kaminari.

He could imagine the warm smiles that would be directed at him and the way his eyes would light from within as he caught his eye.

He could imagine the way Kaminari would get shy around him so Shinsou would have to take his hand first.

He could picture their long conversations as the dark hours dragged by when he couldn't sleep. Kaminari keeping him entertained with his endless chatter about surprisingly deep topics.

And maybe more. He wondered if Kaminari would be shy or coy, nervous or excited. Probably a little mix of all of them.

He sighed and his chest squeezed uncomfortably tight. Was it possible to miss something you never had? He shook his head to clear the images. It wasn't helpful to dwell on something that was impossible.

What would he think if he found out? Well, knowing Kaminari he'd probably be fine with it. Brush it off with some line like 'Who wouldn't be attracted to me?' But he didn't know if that would make it better or worse.

Shinsou let himself wallow in self pity for a few more minutes before deciding that he needed a plan. A way to fix things. A way to go back to how it was before.

He didn't want this, this messed up confusion of feelings directed at his friend while he was trying to become a hero. He wanted the feelings to go away. His plan didn't include a relationship.

When he first transferred, he'd convinced himself he didn't have time for friends so he certainly didn't have time to pine over his straight friend. He didn't have time for distractions like that. His plan was to become a hero. And when that was done, maybe then he'd let himself consider a relationship. With someone who could return his feelings.

But how did he go back to before? What even was before? He hadn't suddenly decided that he liked Kaminari. He'd felt it happening for a while before he was jerked back to reality. So how did you give an end to something that never really had a beginning?

It had been a slow burning sensation that only grew as he got to know him.

He opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling in the dark. Maybe that was it: knowing him. He'd only ended up feeling this way once he got to know him.

But how did you un-know someone?

Well, you didn't. But he could damn well pretend he didn't know Kaminari until his feelings went away and he could get back to work. It would be best for both of them.

At least, that's what he tried to convince himself of. It would be better to stop it now before his heart got any more invested. It would only hurt more if he let it go on any longer.

It didn't help that the words sounded forced even just thinking them. He tried again to swallow the lump that was forming in his throat. He could do this. He had to do this.

It was settled then. He'd throw himself back into hero training and forget all about swirling golden eyes, warm touches and shocking pick up lines.