I Even Like His Shocking Pickup Lines [ShinKami]

A Waste of Time

The next day when Shinsou saw him, he gave him a cursory nod and asked if he was feeling better because he wasn't a complete dick. Kaminari grinned and said he was fine now before asking if he wanted to meet in his room to finish their report after class.

Shinsou made an excuse about needing to meet with his study group and before Kaminari could suggest another time, said, "We're basically done so we probably don't need to meet up again."

Kaminari's eyebrows creased and he uttered an, "Uh, yeah sure."

"If you need help with it, you can email it to me," Shinsou suggested and he tried not to let the confusion and disappointment on Kaminari's face get to him as he turned away.

The crease between Kaminari's eyebrows was still there as he pushed his food around his bowl during lunch. Mina nudged his foot under the table and cocked her head to one side, silently asking what was wrong.

Kaminari shrugged but his eyes found Shinsou in the crowded hall and Mina followed his gaze.

"He was weird when we talked this morning," Kaminari said before tearing his eyes away.

Mina smiled in what she hoped was a reassuring way. "He does look especially tired today so maybe that was it."

"Yeah, I guess."

But that wasn't it. Kaminari could feel that something was wrong.

Shinsou didn't know when it had started happening but he'd caught himself looking for Kaminari during lunch and after class. It was obviously a subconscious habit he'd picked up, one he needed to break if his plan was going to work.

So he started avoiding the cafeteria and leaving as soon as the last bell went so he wouldn't have to give an excuse about why he couldn't hang out.

When he did see him, Shinsou would throw on his stoic mask and give him minimal responses. He tried to ignore the way Kaminari's face twisted with worry every time it happened. He had to remind himself that this was only for now. Just until his feelings settled down.

Kaminari slowly seemed to get the hint but it didn't make it any easier for Shinsou. He was barely sleeping and when he did, he'd wake without feeling the least bit rested. Usually shaking off his dream, something about lightning and swirls of gold.

Shinsou knew he couldn't avoid him forever and Kaminari finally cornered him one night before bed when he knew Shinsou had an extra training. The blond sat against his door waiting for him to get back.

Shinsou hoped the stutter in his step didn't show when he saw Kaminari sitting with his back to his dorm door, waiting for him.

Kaminari stood up as he approached and made room for Shinsou to unlock his door. Shinsou went in and left the door open in as much of an invitation as Kaminari was going to get, it seemed.

Kaminari didn't follow him inside, he propped a hip against the door frame, looked across at him and decided to get straight to the point. "You've been avoiding me and I want to know why."

Shinsou froze halfway through unbuttoning his training shirt. He couldn't bring himself to tell Kaminari the real reason he had been avoiding him so he fell back on his old default as he resumed undoing his buttons. "I have to work harder than anyone else here and I'm already behind. I don't have time to waste."

"So I'm a waste of time?"

Shinsou heard the hurt in those words loud and clear and they tore at his heart. He turned around to face the blond, finally meeting his eyes. "Kaminari..."

"No, I get it, man," Kaminari said, cutting him off. "You're training super hard to become a hero so it makes sense that you wouldn't want to spend time with a guy like me." He pushed off the doorframe. "I figured it was only a matter of time before you got sick of me anyway. I hope you become a great hero, Hit- Shinsou."

Then he was gone and his door was closing. Shinsou leaned back against his draws as if needing the support as a deep, shuddering breath escaped him. He knew this was the right thing to do to keep his heart safe but it really, really didn't feel like it right then.

Kaminari had tried not to let how much hearing those words from Shinsou hurt him but when he made it back to his room, he broke.

He sat on the edge of his bed and replayed the words over again and each time he did, it hurt a little more.

He had only just started to play with the idea that maybe he had feelings for the guy and he didn't even get the chance to have his confession thrown back in his face. He was just told he was a waste of time instead.

His vision slowly blurred until he couldn't distinguish the items in his room and the pain he was feeling rolled down his cheeks.

He must have fallen asleep at some point because he woke to the sun seeping through his curtain. He'd gotten way too little sleep last night, his chest felt hollow and his throat sore.

But he didn't feel the defeat the way he did last night. Sometimes a good cry can do that for you. And after the tears had dried came an epiphany.

As much as anyone would argue, Kaminari wasn't stupid. Okay, maybe sometimes he was a little off but he blamed that on his quirk for frying his brain.

What he wasn't, was blind. He'd seen the way Shinsou had started to look at him. He was so good at playing aloof, at pretending to be uninterested in everything, that Kaminari had noticed when that facade had started to crack.

Kaminari recognised what this last week had been. It hadn't been Shinsou pushing him away because he was a waste of time, it was Shinsou pushing him away because he was scared of his feelings.

He'd caught Shinsou looking at him when he didn't think he knew and how his eyes would show a little look of alarm and confusion at the thought of being attracted to him. Kaminari recognised the look all too well because he'd made it himself more than a few times just recently.

And this wasn't something Kaminari could make him be okay with. This was something he needed to accept on his own. He'd give Shinsou the space he needed to sort through what he was feeling. Sexuality was complicated, as Kaminari was now also finding out for himself.