The Chronicles of Rush: part 5

the Ballad of Yummlez, Sparklepuff, and Ranavitastav

A popcorn story written by GennaJ8232 and I a little while ago

I'm honestly not even sorry but I can guarantee that you will be

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Once upon a time, the universe as you know it did not exist. There were no stars, no galaxies, no aliens, no none of whatever you imagine would be in space. The only thing that existed was a burrito. A massive space burrito.

This burrito spawned tiny bacteria from its rotting layers that eventually kind of turned into life. The only life in the universe. Until Yummlez showed up.

Yummlez? Who or what is Yummlez?

Yummlez was a god, the highest of higher beings, the thing that had probably created the universe. The great Yummlez had previously controlled everything in this un-universe, and it wasn't so sure how to feel about this 'life'. Its feelings of doubt were validated when a very stupid teenage boy came out of the abyss to eat the rotted space burrito. He then had explosive food poisoning and Yummlez had to put him out of his misery by sending him to hell where he could be tortured instead. Yummlez conferred with her fellow god, Sparklepuff, and they decided to magically nuke the remnants of the space burrito so their wonderfully empty universe could stay empty and stop attracting moldy things and stupidity.

Unfortunately, as soon as their magic space missile hit the burrito, an armada of small, ugly beings came out of the disgusting layers and attacked the gods. These beings were none other than a herd of small, ugly, children who had shit all over their faces. They screeched and wailed and threw their tiny fists at the gods. Yummlez and Sparklepuff looked at each other, nodded, and ran for their fucking lives.

Well, it was more like float-flying because space. But whatever, they still escaped. The horrible shit-faced children began to eat the very universe, leaving behind a White-Out sort of substance where the void was consumed. They knew that if they ate enough of the universe, they could open a portal to summon their master, a creature called Ranavitastav who very very much wanted the two gods dead.

Ranavitastav was a small, pea-sized, Furby-like being who was the most powerful creature ever imagined. And she would consume the gods if the universe was destroyed, and repopulate it with huge, planet-sized, Furby-like beings. The children devoured more and more of the universe, and Ranavitastav looked on with pleasure.

Of course, there was still the problem (more like minor annoyance) of Yummlez and Sparklepuff, who had mysteriously disappeared. Where were they, you might ask? Well, they were already familiar with Ranavitastav and her plans, so they were gathering an army of bean bags, water, and chickens. The most fearsome of armies to combat the reign of Ranavitastav.

They charged the children and replaced all the white void with an infinite ocean, swimming with chickens that picked off anything remotely pea-sized. Now that the universe was filled again, Ranavitastav was banished back to the realm of Furbies and nightmares. But what were the gods going to do with the ocean they had created? They sat on their beanbag chairs and thought.

They eventually decided to just leave it be. Well, Yummlez wanted to leave it be, but Sparklepuff suddenly turned on Yummlez and trapped him inside a pencil case! Yummlez screamed and begged to be released, but what he didn't know was that 'Sparklepuff' was really Ranavitastav! Come on, she's the most powerful creature ever imagined, of course she can shapeshift.

She turned the entire universe into a rocky wasteland and threw Yummlez into a massive crevasse so deep that it led to another dimension. This dimension was full of the shit-faced children that Ranavitastav had disposed of because they'd tried to eat the enormous planet-sized Furbies.