Budder Rising: A Hero's Legacy

Chapter Five : Blame

"What is it!" Mercedees cried

"It's...Fan, she brought more...of her!!" I cried

"Wait! Where is Jessica, she said she was going to catch up with you?" Fisher said

"It's my fault...it's my fault...it's my fault" I mumbled

"Rick...what is?" Abby asked

"Fan killed her!! All because I was trying to avenge Dani! It's all my fault!" I cried

"wait...Jessica is dead?" Fisher asked

I nodded, barely holding back the tears. Fisher grabbed me and slammed me against the wall.

"You Idiot!! Can't you stay still for a minute, because of you we lost one of our best people and Fan is much stronger now!!" Fisher cried, tears in his eyes

There was a loud clang, I looked over and saw that my arm had fallen off, it was bleeding all over the place.

"LET GO OF ME!!!" I screamed

I punched Fisher, he stumbled back. I grabbed his head and threw him into the wall.

"Rick stop!!" Abby cried

I stood there with a handful of Fisher's hair in my hand, I looked at my arm and it was fine. The prosthetic one fell off because of how damaged it was. Fisher let out a cough, his face head was bleeding. I looked back at everyone, Mercedees was shocked, Abby was terrified, and Mia was shaking. I let Fisher go and he fell to the ground, tears were now flooding out. What have I done?! I ran out of the base, not sure where to go but I didn't care, I just kept on running till I couldn't run anymore. I leaned against a wall before sliding down to the floor, going into the fetal position. I let it all out right there, in that broken building. I sobbed and sobbed and couldn't stop. I couldn't save Jason, then there was Abby, I put her into a comma, then Dani. I couldn't even hold her back on my own, and there was Jessica. She treated me so nicely, she was there when I couldn't go on anymore. She was with me from the start.

"Why was I given these powers? Delacroix...why did it have to be me you took in?" I sobbed

It was all because of the letter back at school, I just wanted to be cool. I needed something that could make me worth something, but look where that got me. 1 person hurt, and 2 people dead...all by my hands. They were right, I am pathetic.

"Rick!" Abby cried

I heard her from outside, I wanted to tell her to leave me alone but that would give me away. Please, Abby let me suffer in silence.

"There you are" Abby said

I didn't respond, I wanted to disappear. I wanted to die, I wasn't cut out for the hero role, it was then that I thought back to what I said to Fan.

"I am Budder Dash the hero!"

Ha, that's fucking hilarious. A Hero?! Me? No, I can't be. Not after what I have done. I was pulled out of my thoughts when I felt Abby's hand on my shoulder.

"Hey...are you alright?" Abby asked

"You think I'm a monster, huh?" I mumbled, no emotion in my voice

"What makes you think that?!" Abby cried

I didn't respond I wanted her to leave, I wanted Fan to find me and finish me off. Abby raised my head a bit off the ground and laid it down on her lap.

"W...what are you doing..." I mumbled

"I'm not moving until you tell me what's making you hurt" Abby demanded

"Isn't it obvious?" I asked

"Yep, but I want to hear you say it" Abby said

I felt her fingers in my hair, they were softly rubbing through each strand. I didn't want to be helped, but it felt so...soothing. I didn't deserve this, I didn't want to feel this way...I needed to feel pain. It's what Jason and Jessica deserve from me, after what I did to them, so...why was I crying.

"D...d...dammit" I sobbed

I cried into Abby's thighs, I couldn't stop. Her hands in my hair made me feel safe. Something I haven't felt in forever.

"Shhhh, just let it out" Abby soothed

"It's all my fault, Abby! Jason, you, and Jessica...it's all my fault. I got them killed!!" I cried

"It wasn't your fault, you did the best you could." Abby stated

I sat there crying into her legs, I didn't want her to leave me here. I needed her