All Love Lost (ON HOLD)

Chapter 26

"I'm so sorry, Ms. Bleu. At this point, there's not much more that we can do. We can, however, make him as comfortable as possible until you decide to end it."

Her words were going in one ear and out of the other as reality was having a difficult time setting in. In less than 48 hours, things had gone to complete and utter shit. The white walls, the beeping of machines, and the frigid air of the room I was sitting in was a perfect indication of that.

"Ms. Bleu?" I could hear the concerned voice once again.

"Can you give her a moment, please?" Adrian asked.

A door opening and closing sounded so far off, but in reality it was only a few feet away from where I sat dumbfounded with disbelief. I could faintly hear Adrian trying to say something to me, but his words were useless.

My heart was refusing to accept anymore hurt in the moment. It was building a wall around itself, disallowing me to feel anything at all.

Eventually, he got the hint and allowed me to just be. I had to have sat motionless for almost an hour before fading out of my trance-like state. When I did, I wanted nothing more than to return to it as I everything became as real as ever. 

Laying within arms reach was my baby, clinging on to what little life he had left. I'd learned that in an attempt to defend my mom from Gerald, Bear was hit and kicked countless times to the point of no return. Today was day two of him being on life support and seeing him in his current state was hard.

His short, rapid breaths were a result of a partially collapsed lung and his pale skin was a result of the internal bleeding that was subjected upon him.

"Get the doctor, please." I couldn't stand to see him like that any longer.

I could feel Adrian unwrap his arm from around me as he got up and walked out of the room to fetch the veterinarian. I mustered up as much internal strength as I could and walked over to his bedside. I reached out and stroked his cold fur. He whimpered a bit until I began talking to him, effectively calming him down. I continued to rub his little body and sooth him with my voice until he was taken off of life support and he took his final breath.

He was gone.

. . .

The ride back to my apartment was painstakingly long and quiet. Adrian insisted on walking me up, and I didn't have the energy to argue with him.

When I walked inside, the emptiness could be felt instantly. Adrian had gone ahead and put all of Bear's things away to try and make the transition a bit easier, but it didn't seem to do much. Not hearing his chain rattle and the pitter patter of his feet once I walked through the door was just as torturous as seeing his bed and toys strewn all over the place.

That, in conjunction with not seeing my mom sitting in the living room with her face buried in her Bible was almost unbearable.

Before I could barricade myself inside of my room, Adrain wrapped his arms around me. "Do you need me to stay?"

I shook my head in response. "No. You can go home. I'll be fine."

"You sure?" He asked again, forcing me to look at him.

"Yes. I promise. Go home, please."

He let out a deep breath before wrapping me in a hug. "Call me if you need anything or if you need to get out of here, okay?"

I nodded.

"Okay?" He reiterated, to prompt a verbal response.

"Okay, Adrian."