Untitled Absurdity

Friday, June 28th, 2019

I just cannot believe it!!! 

I have my hair to be cut twice!!! 

I love to have short hair, but somehow for unknown reasons by the few members of the society, I got called frequently as a man, it is very uncomfortable for me. 

I love pixie style haircut. But here at my place, people, most, not all (I hope, #fingercross) connect long hair style with feminity, and girly and so the short hair ladies will be put in the tomboy/boyish category or lesbian category, when we, yes...you, my dear readers and I know together that it doesn't always be the case.  I have my friend who has long hair but is a true tomboy one, while I am on the other side, because of my laziness I prefer short hair because it is low maintenance and I can survive with just one bottle of 165mL shampoo for one month (I wash my hair everyday, because I live in tropical island, quite a saving there, right?) 

I mean like what the hell, oh you, judgy people!!! (Finally I can scream my heart out, yeah feel so nice)

Few people sometimes do not have that many things to do with their life that make them have much free time to go around and being judgy and labeling others here and there.

I am pretty and truly fragile and girly inside and I am still a follower of the Christian Bible value about marriage which is between a man and a woman, and I am confused why these people labeled me so much when they don't even know me well, and when I don't even think about them and their life preferences. 

And because of this uhm unreasonably reason, I stumbled upon 2 hairstylist with 2 different haircut, and ended up cutting my hair very short again... 

I guess I still want to survive in society and I am still...uhm..quite desperate to have a man to treat me nicely as fragile but over independent creature, as a woman. 

And so from my top number one favorite hairstyle which is pixie style, I went down to layered bob with front fringe, and the last with the inverted bob with tapered front fringe.... 

I feel a little bit unconfindent though, because I have round face and I wear glasses... Oh well, whatever, my hair will grow again, right? 

Talking about hair, I wonder if any of my dear readers is in the middle of facing fear of baldness (alopecia, or something, I forgot the spelling), because I am facing the same thing, you see? Why I love short hairstyle? Because it is to give this illusion that my hair is thick.... When I could see my scalp even clearer after I take a bath. 

Yes, I know, few of you, my dear readers would probably tell me to just wash my hair once after 2 days, as what I read from the internet, but it is quite hard here in tropical island with intense humidity, it makes me easier to get dandruff, and it could cause the hair loss worse.  So I get no choice but wash my hair everyday, dry shampoo is such a luxurious item here, so go back to my main choice which is washing my hair everyday. 

Okay, that's a little big chunk of my self insecurities, in this category about appearance, subcategory: hair (my self insecurity is like cancer spreading wide and deep, so I spend most of my sleepless nights to categorize/mapping my self insecurity, something like taxonomy in Biology, i guess, maybe, does it even make sense to you, my dear readers?) 

Now, as I promise in the last chapter, I would introduce to you my main casts, for now, other than this so self absorbed me.... 

My top number one is my partner in crime who lives so far from me, yes she lives on the moon, hence her name is Moon Lady, she is such a domisticated goddess that maybe Zeus will fall for and Hera will get jealous for, but for me, strangely it is hard for me to feel jealous about her domestic skills, because I got served so well in my hunger time during my stressful microteaching time by this old dear friend of mine.