Stay with me {Kellic}

chapter 36

*Kellin Pov*

i open my door expecting to see oliver watching tv or somthing, but hes no where in sight, i slowly walk into my room to see a poster and a note

'told you i would get somthing sighed for you! i went to the shop to buy somthing more to eat than cold pizza, no offense to your life style, i just, you know, food. anyways, i might be home before you are but i thought i'd leave this just in case. oli x' 

it says, i pick up the poster in my hand, its an a day to remember poster, i smile at oliver's gift to me, then i set it on my desk near my alarm, i go into my closet and take out a lose grey button up sweater i stole from vic, well im his boyfriend, so borrowing is a better way to put it. i put it around me and i cross my arms, this sweater smells like vic, i wonder if hes ever washed it, i wonder if he knows its missing. i curl up into a ball on the floor. i look at my phone which is on my bed steps away from me. maybe justin's right, calling vic maybe isnt the best thing right now, he shouldnt have to worry about me, ive put him through enough. he has too many scars on him from me, well from jack, but thats my fault.

after an hour of sitting on the floor fighting tears, i stand up and brush myself off and i walk out of my house, and down he street, going to another place i like to call home, its also where austin works....the bar. i open the door to find it empty, which isnt a full surprise, i must have missed lunch. i walk towards where austin is, he is reading some book. i sit on a stool and i wait a second.

"austin" i say softly and he puts his book down

"i promised alan i wouldnt give you drinks while you are post to be in school" he states

"ive had a hard day, i came here for a friend austin, all i want is someone to listen" i lash out at him, to be honest i didnt mean to, its just i feel all my anger trying to come out, i just feel so used, mostly by jack, maybe thats all he wanted from me, he wanted to be with me, but not because he liked me, maybe he just liked the affection, the kind i didnt give him.

"im sorry kellin,please stop crying" austin says and i put my hand on my cheek to realize i have been crying. i look up hoping the tears will just go back in and stop, but that doesnt happen.

"what happened?" austin asks

i dont answer, i dont know if i want to, when justin yelled at the teacher, it didnt sound right. the way he put it sounded, unreal. it shouldnt have happened to me, if i wasnt so stubborn and just admitted i loved vic and went back to him faster, this wouldnt have happened. i wouldnt have 'fallen' for jack. i wouldnt have gotten this hurt, i wouldnt have hurt vic. i wouldnt have put vic through all of this.

"should i ask alan?" austin asks

"he doesnt know" i say softly

"can you write down what happened? you obviously dont want to say it"

i sigh giving in and he puts a napkin and a pen in front of me. on the napkin i see the word 'samual adams'

"can i have one of those?" i ask as i point at the name, austin rolls his eyes at me

"after you tell me whats wrong" 

i take the pen in my hands and write the words

' i was almost rap-' and before i can finish writing austin takes the pen away from me and i look up at his face, hes frowning.

"that didnt happen" he says shaking his head in disbelief

"tell me it didnt" he adds

i stay silent