Jamona One Shots (Jackson Fuller x Ramona Gibbler)

It was the only way he'd notice me (EXTREME TRIGGER WARNING)

(TRIGGER WARNING! This content has a few suicidal and self warm events that may be triggering for some readers). Also, this doesn't have a happy ending... I'm saying nothing...

Ramona's P.O.V.
I'm so desperate to tell Lola my secret! I haven't told her yet that I have a crush and she's going to be so surprised that it's Jackson! It's going to be so hard though. They're very good friends and get along so well and I'm scared that she might like him as well.

The only person I've told about my crush is my diary.

However, every time I've asked her about if she has a crush, Lola's always denied it. I should really take her word for it but every time I see them together I get this burning feeling in my heart.

I think it might be jealousy...

Just suck it up and get on with telling her. I've tried to hint it to Lola that I have a crush and she's not noticing so this time it's for real.

Knock knock

That's the door. My bedroom door.
I opened it to see Lola standing there with a big grin on her face.
"What's with you?" I ask.

"I have some important news to tell you", she responds letting herself into the room and flopping back onto my bed.

"Come on in then I guess", I answer, "I have some big news as well actually". It's really hard to tell someone that you like a boy but even harder if they're trying to tell you something else.

"Oh really?", Lola asks, sitting back up looking at me questionably, "you're never usually the person with big news. But tell me anyway".

I panicked. I guess I can't handle situations where I'm out on the spot after all. I had to change the subject. I'll attempt to tell her later that I like Jackson.

"Oh that's okay. You go first". That'll stall it.

"I can't tell you. It's actually a bit embarrassing. I know! I'll write it down".
She grabbed a piece of paper and a pen from my desk and started writing. What could be so important and embarrassing that she couldn't say it out loud?

Then again, I can't. But Lola's so much more confident at telling someone about these things.

She showed it to me showing pure excitement on her face. It kinda looked like she was trying to keep it in and that made me worry slightly.
I read the note, and in neat handwriting it said:
I might have a crush

My heart started racing as soon as I read the first word. She couldn't. No. She's never had a crush on anyone before. Lola told me herself. But I had to keep my cool.

"Really?! That's great. Who is it?" I questioned.

"I don't know if I can tell you again. Can I trust you to keep the secret?"

"Of course you can. I'm your best friend".

She took the piece of paper out of my hands and continued to write.

I prayed to god that it wasn't who I thought it was. Please not Jackson. Please not Jackson. Pleeaaase not Jackson... It was...

Jackson.

My heart dropped. I snatched that paper out of her hands and turned around so she wouldn't see my hurt face. I could only hope that I was in a dreadful coma and would eventually wake up knowing that everything was fine.