Peter Parker One Shots

Hack

Peter and Ned were chilling around in Ned's room, doing homework when Ned gave him an outrageous dare. But, Peter ain't no chicken.

"Hey, Peter. I dare you to hack into the A.I. of Avengers Tower." Ned said, not looking up from his chemistry book.

"Sure, lemme just finish this problem first." Peter said, also not looking up from his math homework.

When they finished the homework, Peter called May and told him he was sleeping over. He sat down at Ned's computer and started typing. In a few minutes, he pulled up the security cameras.

"Ah. All of Avengers Tower at our fingertips. What should we do?"

Peter and Ned locked eyes.

"Scare the shit out of the Avengers." They said in unison, creepy smiles coming across their faces.

—

Clint was crawling through the vents when he saw Cap on the couch right under an open spot. Bingo.

Clint got in position and jumped down on top of him.

Or he was supposed to, but Cap shimmered away as it happened.

He got back into the vents and found Tony in a similar position in the kitchen.

It happened again.

And again with Thor in the training room.

And again with Wanda in the music room.

He was pretty sure he was going insane. He plopped onto his bed and began to think he was next.

—-

Nat was in her room, reading a book, when the lights began to flicker. She sighed, bookmarking her page. "Friday, tell Tony my lightbulb is flickering."

"I Can't Do Anything Myself Protocol activated."

"What did you just say to me?"

"I told you that the I Can't Do Anything Myself Protocol has been activated."

Natasha decided to kill Tony. "Also, inform him I'm going to kill him."

"The Oh Shit You Messed Up Protocol has been activated." Natasha picked her book up, and decided she was willing to get it bloody.

"Friday give me Tony's current location." Natasha was out the door when Friday replied.

"Apologies, Miss Romanoff. The Haha Fri Likes Me Better Protocol restricts me from giving you the information you seek."

—-

Cap was in the training room, punching bags when he decided to move on to the treadmill.

A few minutes after he got on, it malfunctioned and he flew across the room.

"Shit." He muttered.

"Language!" Said the ceiling, but it was his voice.

"Fuck, where did Tony get that recording?"

"Language!" It repeated.

"I'm screwed. I feel like I'm in detention or something."