Peter Parker One Shots

2 Times Peter Was Almost Killed and 1 Time Peter and Clint Had 1 Thing In Common

Oop

1-
Peter didn't think it was a big deal. So he was fighting a mugger and he was shot in the thigh. Big deal! So he was bleeding out in an alley and unable to stand up. No problem! So what he was loosing a lot of blood and had AB- blood, the blood type that 1 in every 162 people has. Nothing to freak out about! Peter was groaning on the floor of the alley, cops on their way. The mugger was webbed to the wall and Peter was laying on the ground. The cops arrived. A buff black male cop uses a switchblade to get the mugger out of the webbing. A Latina cop in a leather jacket pulls the gun out of the webbing on the other side of the alley. A third cop gasps and runs over to Peter. "Oh my god, Spider-Man! Are you alright?! What happened?! Can you talk? What are you talking about Jake he was shot in the leg of course ha can talk." Peter laughed giddily. "I like your badge Mr. Sr. Police-Man. It's around your neck like a necklace. Like in Die Hard." Peter's eyes start to feel really heavy. "Hey, Spider-Man, Hey it's okay. God, what are you doing over here anyway? Aren't you supposed to be a Queens hero?" Peter felt really tired. "He was following her from the bus station in Queens. Not my fault he went all the way to Brooklyn. I'm tired Mr. Sr. Police-Man." "Rosa call an ambulance! Hey, Spider-Man, it's okay. You're gonna be okay. I'm Jake Peralta. You can call me Jake. Don't go to sleep, okay Spider-Man. Is there anything else I can call you? Spidey? Isn't that what Deadpool calls you," Peter's eyes widen slightly. "Deadpool? Don't call him. He'll freak out. I like Deadpool. He's nice and funny and he likes me too. He's my boyfriend. You can call me Peter if you want Mr. Sr. Police-Man Jake Peralta." "It's okay Peter. You're gonna be okay. Is it.. alright for me to take your mask off Peter? You're loosing a lot of blood and you need to breathe and I doubt the mask is helping." Peter doesn't respond. "Shit, uh, can I? Terry what do I do?" "You're right Detective Peralta. You should remove Peter's mask. I recommend tearing the suit to form a makeshift splint until the ambulance arrives in 4.3 minutes." Jake flinches. "I'm Karen, Peter's Artificial Intelligence. You don't need to be scared of me. Please just help Peter." Jake boss a couple times and then takes Peter's mask off, muttering cool repeatedly under his breath. "Holy shit Spider-Man is a teenager. Terry, can you help me make him a splint?" The buff black man, now dubbed Terry, comes over and lifts up Peter's injured leg. He lets out a cry. Jake tears the suit and together they apply pressure to the wound. "Karen, should we put Peter's mask back on so the doctors don't know his identity?" "Yes, that would be wise. Perhaps you should give me your phone number as well so you could check up on him." Jake mods. "Yeah, uh my phone number is 9173434273." After a beat, the sirens finally cut through the silence. "Finally!" Jake calls out as he rushes to put Peter's mask back on.
~one day later~
Peter was in his room chilling out when his phone rang. The caller ID was Mr. Sr. Police-Man Jake Peralta. "Karen you're so sassy for an AI." Peter mutters. "Hi! I don't remember you." Peter says way too cheerfully for someone who was shot last night. "Would my expect you too. You passed out almost immediately. You lost a lot of blood by the time we got there, and then the ambulance didn't show up for five minutes. I, uh, hope you don't mind that Karen put my number in your phone." Peter chuckled. "Other than the fact that your Caller ID is Mr. Sir Police-Man Jake Peralta, no I don't mind. Thanks for checking up on me thought. I'm fine. I've got quick healing, and am already back at studying for my physics final." Jake laughed. "I remember those days. They really sucked." Peter laughed. "Peter! It's dinner time!" Pepper called from the kitchen. "Of, sorry my moms calling me. Tell your buff friend and your leather jacket friend I say hi." The phone cut out as Peter went out the door. "What's for dinner mom?" While at the 99th precinct Jake was saying to his desk partner and fiancée Amy, "I have Spider-Man's number. And he still lives with his mom."
2.
Peter didn't intend of commuting suicide when he woke up this morning. But he had a great weekend, he was really confident, and he broke Cap's record for bench pressing. So then, Monday morning, sixth period lunch he did it. He talked back to Flash. Peter was getting his lunch out of his locker because Pepper packed him lunch today. Flash was standing behind him, relentlessly teasing him for his internship being real. So, Peter snapped. "Well, guess what Flash? I don't give a shit what you think!" He said, slamming his locker closed. "I know it's real. The people I like know it's real. I don't care that you think it isn't." Peter knew it was coming, but let Flash slam his head into the lockers. He punched him in the ribs repeatedly, pushed him to the ground and started kicking him in the nose. He felt his nose break. Who knew Flash actually had it in him. He pulled him back up and slammed his head into the lockers again and again. His nose and the back of his head were oozing blood. Flash kept slamming his head back. Peter thinks he briefly heard Ned try to defend him, but it went ignored by both parties as Flash started to wrap his hands around Peter's neck. "Teach you to talk back to me." Flash kept muttering to himself. Peter felt his consciousness slipping away from him. He whispered. "Help," just as his body went slack, the principal came around the corner. "Eugene Thompson! My office, now! Mr. Leeds, Ms. Jones, Ms. Shuri, please take Mr. Parker to the nurses office." Flash dropped Peter, and he crumbled to the ground unconscious. Ned and Mj picked him. "Shuri, could you go into his locker, get his phone, call Stark." Mj ordered. Shuri nodded. "Sure thing, love." She grabbed Peter's phone and followed the two into the nurses office. She was sitting at her desk, and stood when she saw Peter. The nurse at Midtown was one of the cool ones. "Was this Flash?" She growled. Ned nodded. Shuri was scrolling through his contacts furiously. "Aha!" She presses a button and put the phone at her ear as the nurse begins her examination. "Hello, Tony. Yes, this is Shuri. There's been a bit of an accident at school. I recommend you bring Pepper. No, not because he's dying, so he can have a parent here, and the other can be murdering the jack ass who did this to him." Shuri put the phone down, satisfied with herself. "Will he be okay?" Ned asked the nurse after a few minutes. Pepper ran into the room just as the nurse continued. "He had a broken nose, two broken ribs, and the back of his head was bleeding severely. His head is already healing, miraculously." Pepper let out a choked sob when she saw her son, laid out like this. "Oh, Mrs. Stark! You've arrived. Yes, well I presume your husband is out making sure Eugene gets expelled?" Pepper nodded, a murderous look crossing her face. "Yes he is." The nurse let an evil grin cross her face. "Good." Pepper calls Tony, who is on his way to the office to talk him the diagnosis. Tony, now on the phone, hears the nurses next breakdown very clearly. "There is one other thing. Uh, because Peter has his head slammed against the lockers so much, he appears to have lost his hearing."
~the office~
"Principal Mortia you don't understand!" Flash begged. "Oh, I understand plenty. I understand that I heard a ruckus, and when I come to investigate, I saw you slamming Mr Parker against the lockers and trying to choke him. So I do believe I understand. I'm calling your parents."  The door burst open. Tony Stark of all people came through. "Ah, yes, Mr. Stark, just in time. We were discussing Eugene's punishment." Flash's mouth hung open. Tony's eyes were dark with fury. "You! You were the one that did this! What did he say?! Hm?! What did he say that gave you absolutely no choice that you had to nearly kill Peter!?" Flash began to shake slightly. He muttered something under his breath. "What did you say?" Tony said dangerously. Flash had never been the brightest, so he continued. "I told him I didn't believe he had an internship with you and he said that he didn't need my validation." Flash repeated. If you thought Tony was mad before, you were dead wrong. Before he was smiling as he skipped though a flower field with puppies and cotton candy. Now, he was Lucifer coming to drag a new sinner to hell. Tony took a step forward. "Let me her this straight," he said, rage shaking his voice dangerously. One might say that the narrator is not that smart because they keep saying dangerously but it intent true. The reality is, every move Tony made was as a dangerous as a Black Widow that was woken up at three in the morning by Clint dumping a bucket of cold water on her, a thousandfold and minus the fact that she loved Clint like a brother and wouldn't actually kill him. "You didn't believe that my son had an internship with me. So when he stood up for himself, you took that as the it's alright to try and murder him!?" Tony screamed. The Thompson's ran into the office right as this exchange begun. "You did what?!" Eugene Thompson Sr screeched. Tony turned on his heel at the parents. "Your pathetic ass excuse of a son tormented my son about saying he has an internship at Stark Industries, which he does as my personal intern, and the one day," Tony holds up one finger, "that my son finally says that he doesn't need your son to believe him, your son decides it's okay to break my sons nose, two of his ribs, repeatedly hit his head into his locker so much that he was bleeding and my son's locker has red streaks down it, and my son can no longer hear. Does that seem fair to you?" The Thompson's were a well known and very respected family. They owned Thompson Incorperated, a business simmilar to Stark Industries before Afghanistan. They made weapons, and after Stark left that race, the Thompsons stole his first place spot and got real rich. "I'm sorry, there seems to be a misunderstanding." Tony was about to cut him off angrily. "Because I don't have a son. I'm here to inform the school that the two of us should no longer be considered contacts for this boy here. He is no longer our son. A Thompson would never do that." The Thompson's sent a glare at Flash, turned away from him, and walked out. "That's going to make this a whole lot more awkward, but for what you've done, Eugene, you will be sent to trial. If you lose your case, you will be sent to a Juvenile Detention Center for two years, the you will carry out the rest of your sentence in prison." "Oh, sorry to jump in here but I know some cops that line nearby that I'm sure would love to make this arrest and take him to a correctional facility to wait for his trial." The principal motioned for him to do something. Tony pulls doit his phone and started texting. The principal continued to tell Flash what would happen to him. A little while later, the two cops come busting in. "Detectives Jake Peralta and Rosa Diaz. You're the one who hurt Peter. Well, good thing you're going to jail. Because otherwise, we'd have to take matters into our own hands and trust me. That kid has befended all of the Avengers, the entire 99th precinct of the NYPD, and plenty of other people who I'm sure would love to come in here and get their punches. But hey, he's just a useless lonely orphan no one loves, right Flash? Well news flash." Jake started to put his cuffs on so Rosa took over. "Here's who loves him: An entire NYPD precinct, the CEO of a major company, a trillionare genius who's also Iron Man, Captain America, Black Widow, the Hulk, Hawkeye, Thor the God of Thunder, Loki the God of Mischief, Scarlet Witch, Quicksilver, Falcon, Winter Soldier, Iron Patriot, Star Lord, the most deadly woman in the galaxy, a talking tree, a talking raccoon, Ant Man, Drax the Destroyer, Captain Marvel, The Wasp Original, The Wasp New, And I'm sure there's more we're forgetting but we have to read you your right now." They began leading him out of the room, reading his rights. People began to get her around him as he was forced out of the building in handcuffs.
+1
Peter was permanently deaf. Bruce and Tony made him some hearing aids with the capacity of his enhanced hearing, but without them, Peter has no sense of hearing in the slightest for the rest of his life. And he loved it. He and Tony were arguing, and Tony was being dumb. "You know what dad, I'm right you're wrong. Shut up." Peter then took out his hearing aids and walked away. He learned ASL, and once he was 'arguing' with Ned and Ned signed at him 'Don't yell at me'. Overall Peter thought it was fun. He used his hearing aids majority of the time, except for that one time.

That one time-
Peter was sitting next to Ned working on the worksheet that the new teacher had given them. Ms. Egdirbmu was walking around. She tapped Peter on the shoulder. "Excuse me, mister wireless headphones are not permitted in class. I'm going to have to ask you to take them out, and give them to me." She put her hand out. Peter was really confused for a second before he realized that she meant his hearing aids. "Oh, Ms. Egdirbmu you don't understand." She raised her eyebrows. The room got really quiet. "Are you talking back to me?" He visibly tensed. Peter purses his lips and took out his hearing aids, placing them in her hands. Peter and Ned kept working on the sheet, using ASL to communicate. A few minutes later, they were going over the sheet and Peter kept his eyes on the sheet so he didn't read lips to get this exchange.

"Question number seventeen. You, the one who had the wireless headphones." He kept his eyes trained on the paper. "Hello? Why isn't he wandering the question?" Ned raised his hand. "No, sorry your friend must awnser the question on his own." Rather than point out the question he was supposed to awnser, Ned though it'd be better to see Ms. Egdirbmu crash and burn. "What is your name?" She asked aggressively. "I'm writing you up." "His name is Peter Parker." Berry called out for him. "Well why can't Peter Parker tell me that for himself?" Everyone raised their hand simultaneously, all except for Peter, whose eyes were on the paper undisputed. "You, his friend. Why won't he answer my questions." She began writing a detention slip. "Because you didn't let him explain that his 'wireless headphones' are his hearing aids." The teacher flushed red. She picked them up, walked over to Peter, and placed them in front of him. He put them in immediately. "I'm sorry, was I supposed to answer a question?" He let a grin spread across his face, for he knew his dad would see too it that Ms. Egdirbmu wouldn't be his teacher again, not for another second.