Soundtrack (Scomiche)

9: See Through (Part 3)

"I am see through, baby, and I don't want to hide for the very first time."

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July 25. 4:00 PM.

Scott went out, said he had a couple of errands to run. I offered to come with him but he said I should rest some more and that he'll be back soon.

Will it be too cheesy to say I miss him already? Because I do.

Last night, er, this morning was... surreal. But I'm not dreaming and this is really happening!

So after I got Scott's message, I went to his room and finally found the courage to knock. "Scott?" I called out to him.

I heard rustling by the door and in literally less than 3 seconds it was opened (was Scott beside the door the entire time?). He looked at me but said nothing. His hair was disheveled, his eyes were red (I wasn't sure if he had been crying), and he was wearing his favorite pajamas, the ones I gave him. He looked tired and scared but he managed to give me a weak smile. "Hi."

"Hey." I crossed my arms over my chest and kind of gave myself a hug. "So... You're 30?"

"I guess I am," he whispered softly. His blue eyes stared into mine.

"I think I just turned 30, too." I gave him an awkward half smile.

"You did, huh?" Silence.

"So I'm 30. Still single." I had to put it out there. Say it out loud. To say that I waited nervously for his response is an understatement.

"And I'm still single, too." He took a step closer. "Mitch, I..."

I already waited 5 hours. No, I WAITED 7 YEARS. There was still an ongoing battle in my head but I just couldn't wait anymore. I closed the distance between us and kissed him. It was good to know that his lips haven't changed. They were still as soft as when we first kissed all those years ago.

Scott kissed me back gently. My hands found their way to the back of his neck while he wrapped his arms around my waist. He pulled me close but broke the kiss. He pressed his forehead against mine before taking a deep breath. I was so afraid of what was going to happen next. For a second I thought he would say that it was all a mistake.

"Mitch, I really want this," he whispered. His lips were so close that they touched mine with each word he spoke.

"I want this too, Scott." I replied, my forehead still on his, my eyes closed. However, even though I didn't want to ruin the moment, I had to let him know. "But I'm scared. We tried this before and -"

He pressed his lips onto mine. I tried to speak (now that I think about it I'm not sure what I would've said) but Scott pulled me closer, hugged me tighter, and deepened the kiss.

Before long I found myself melting into his embrace and returning his kiss. I don't know how long we stood there doing that but at some point we had pull away to breathe. Scott still didn't let me go, though. He brought his lips near my ears.

"I'm scared too, Mitch. Believe me, I am. I also got scared before, that's why I let you go. But I can't always be scared, right? I'm sorry for doing it this way. I didn't know how to tell you. Please, please, give me a chance." I barely heard him say all those words.

I gently him pushed him away, putting just enough distance between us so I could look at him. "We'll figure this out." I smiled at him. There was so much more I wanted to say but the emotional, physical and mental stress of the last few hours was starting to weigh me down. Quite frankly I was exhausted. I cupped both his cheeks with my hands. "Let's talk more tomorrow, okay?" I brought my hands down and attempted to turn around.

Scott caught me by the arm. "Stay. Please?"

I had no energy left to even attempt to resist. "Okay." I walked to the bed and laid on my side.

Scott did the same and lied down, facing me. He put my hand in his and entwined our fingers. "I love you, Mitch."

Was I surprised when he told me that? Hell yes. Did I want to start a new battle in my head? Absolutely. But you know the good thing about sleep deprivation and exhaustion? You are left with just enough energy to tell the truth and nothing else. "I love you, too, Scott."

Then sleep took over. When I woke up, there was fresh coffee on the bedside table with that sweet message.

Do I regret telling Scott that I love him? No, not really. Might have been too soon, but it was the truth. He told me he loved me, and I felt the same way. We aren't teenagers anymore. No point wasting time, right?

We still have a lot to talk about, I know. I'm not even sure if he's officially my boyfriend already (hence the question mark on my last entry). I just assumed since ... well... the I love yous and the kiss and the please-give-me-a-chance-speech. 

I think Scott's back. Time to talk. Or not talk. Talking is not fun. Kissing Scott is. Note to self: kiss Scott more tonight.