"I know my heart is strong."
---
October 28. 8:30 PM.
Kitty said we should start calling hospitals to ask if Scott came in or was brought in.
I know she has a point and it's the right place to call. It's also what I can do while I'm here at home but I'm not sure my heart can take it.
Shit. Scott's parents.
I have to call them. I don't want them to worry but they have to know what's going on.
---
October 28. 9:15 PM.
I almost broke down when I heard Scott's mom crying. She said they're going to book the earliest flight they could get.
I hate that I had to deliver that news.
I have to stay strong.
It's only been 25 hours.
Maybe Scott checked into a motel like I did and overslept. Maybe he's on his way home right now.
---
October 28. 10:30 PM.
Kitty put her phone on speaker as she tried calling the hospital nearest our apartment. I asked her do it. My hands were already shaking just holding the phone. We were directed to the emergency department. They didn't want to give out details at first because of the confidentiality blah blah. But when the girl (whom I assume was the nurse) heard that we were looking for Scott, she was more than glad to be of help. She wasn't on duty last night but she checked the records. No Scott or Richard or Hoying. No unidentified patients, either.
A part of me feels relieved that he's not there but a bigger part of me is scared. We still don't know where Scott is.
No, he'll be home soon.
---
October 28. 11:05 PM.
Esther's back. Scott's phone can't be tracked since it's dead... No credit card activity. Nothing.
Now more people are looking for Scott.
We're still thinking if we should let the public know. Post something on Facebook or Twitter or even make a short video but... it doesn't seem like a good idea.
GOD I AM SO CONFUSED RIGHT NOW.
All I know is that I want Scott back here. At home. With me.
---
October 28. 11:30 PM.
Do you know that feeling when you can't find something but you're not really scared because you know it's not truly lost? Like you can't see it in that specific moment but you know it must be somewhere in the house or wherever? Just that confident feeling that it's there... it's safe... you can't see it but it's not lost.
I DON'T HAVE THAT.
I feel like my heart is going to explode any moment now because it's been beating so damn fast and hard in the last couple of hours. My lungs are refusing air and my throat is tight, my stomach is in knots and I...
I can't do this.
I can't lose Scott.
---
October 29. 12:15 AM.
KT has called 8 other hospitals. My heart rejoiced and sank with each call whenever they said that there was no Scott Richard Hoying or any unidentified patient with the description she gave.
What if he's hurt and he's out there... alone?
---
October 29. 1:00 AM.
Esther suggested that we should try calling funeral homes.
I hate her for saying that. How could she think that???
I refuse to do that. We won't find Scott there.
WE CAN'T. WE WON'T.
---
October 29. 1:40 AM.
I've been trying to pray but now all I could do is cry.
They say tears are the best prayer, right?
So if there is some higher being out there, please.
Bring him back to me. In one piece.
---
October 29. 2:00 AM.
Bring him back to me. In one piece. ALIVE.
---
October 29. 2:30 AM.
If Scott doesn't want to be found he is doing a damn good job at it.
---
October 29. 3:15 AM.
Kitty and Esther offered to stay. We all look like hell. I can see the way they're looking at me and it's a mixture of fear and sadness and... pity.
What if something bad really happened to him?
I can't lose him now. We just fucking started. There's so much more we want to do... so much more we can become. We still have a lot of places we need to go.
And we're supposed to grow old together.
That's what he said when we made the deal. He wanted the grow-old-together kind of love.
He can't leave me.
----
October 29. 3:55 AM.
You know one of the things that is eating me alive?
What I last said to Scott.
"FUCK YOU, SCOTT."
That's what I told him.
I didn't mean that. I was angry.
Those can't be my last words to him.
---
A/N: Hon, you know who you are. My heart was breaking into so many pieces last night (for a number of reasons) and you managed to keep me from further breaking down. Thank you. :')
My crappy night, however, is not the reason for this sad update. This happens to be loosely based on a true story. :c
Twitter/Tumblr/Instagram/Kik/Snapchat/Tablo/Wattpad: evekatalbas.
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