White Lies ~~Cameron Dallas~~

Pt 19 But We Hold On

Astrids POV

Everyday that went past the darker it got. The longer I thought about him more of my memories were taken away from me. Every second that past was every second that I forgot what he looked like. Every time I try and think about his appearance the more it blurred out . I don't even know what day it is. But what frightens me the most is the fact that when, or if I wake up I wont remember him and everything that we've been through. I can lose everyone else, just not him.

I sigh and watch my mom rub her fingertips across my hand. I was sitting right across from her so I was facing her fully. Her blonde hair was just above her shoulders and her hazel eyes were burning into my closed eyes.

"I know you've been through a lot Astrid but I'm really sure you would get along with Franke if you gave him a try." I laughed sarcastically at the though of me getting along with the snob. I think she lost more of her mind then I did to be honest.

"An-"Her sentence was cut short cause the door opened with force. I would have yelled at the person if it wasnt-

"Colin? Cole? Ca-Cameron." I stood up and looked at his features. His brown hair was messy and scruffy like he just got out of the shower. His brown eyes were dark and intriguing. He was dressed in a dark blue top and black track pants. He was more skinnier then before and his back  was slouching. He had bags under his eyes and a pail face. Please don't tell me he hasn't eaten for a while, he shouldn't put himself throu-.

"Can I have a few minutes with Astrid Mrs O'Connor." My mother nodded and left with out another word said.

"I'm so sorry Astrid." He stood at the door with his head hung low and tears beginning to form in his eyes. Please don't cry.

I stayed in my spot and wait for him to carry on. He stood still for a while then walked by my bed and sat on the edge of it but he was at the bottom. Its like he was scared of me. What did I  do? Did I say something. Wait I cant say anything to him...much greatness Astrid.

"I'm sorry I haven't seen you in a while. I was just letting all this sink in and trust me it went deeper then I intended. There's nothing for me to fill you in on cause all I've been doing is sit in my bed all day and cry about you. The boys kinda forced me to come but I didn't complain, I need to get out of the house. I've missed you a lot and I mean a lot, its driving me to the point where I cant help but see your face on every object." He traced patterns in my scared wrist and started kissing them like last time making my heart melt.

That's what I'm afraid of happening. Me forgetting everything about him and him remembering every little thing about me. Me being scared of him and him loving me till the end.

I'm scared.

"Astrid just wake up and then everything will be fine, for your mom. And if not your mom...for me." He pulled himself up so he was by my side. He pulled me over so he was holding me like a teddy bear. His eyes were fulled with tears, they couldn't hold anymore so he let them all fall.

I sat back down in my seat and watched him fall asleep. He was holding me like I was fragile china doll. I tried to hold back my tears but they fell to the floor, like I did for him. He was my world and I was his.

"I don't know what I would do without you Cam." I looked at the smile that was plated on his face and smiled just as bright. I was about to grab his hand but the door was opened and there stood the boys as well as my mother. I blushed and pulled away, after I did so I remembered they can't see me.

"Their so cute." I smiled at Nash but he couldn't see how happy I was to see that egg.

"Take a picture and stick it on twitter." I panicked because what happens if they don't like me. and they start hating on me.

Click

That's all it took and that's how I knew I couldn't do anything. My mom was looking at us like we were pigs. She looked liked she was about to puke but walked away. I don't care if she doesn't like me and Cam being together she can just suck it.

"We should leave them to sleep." I laughed at Carters sentence then smiled.

"Trust me I've had more sleep then I need."I looked at the floor then felt everything go black.

Cause your the best mistake I've ever made.

But we hold on.

There's no pot of gold in the rainbows we chase.

But we hold on.