White Lies ~~Cameron Dallas~~

Pt 34 Don't Give Me Up

Astrid's POV

I pulled away from Cameron and sat down on the couch. I laid my head in between my legs and cried quietly. 

I just cant see myself doing this anymore. I hate getting hurt. Sure I liked Kane, enough for it to hurt me when I found out he cheated on me with another girl which who knew is Camerons girlfriend. Its to much to handle.

"Astrid."I look at Cameron and we both had glassy eyes. I chuckle lightly and nod waiting for him to continue.

"I've missed you. More then I should have."I sigh and stand up.

"I think I should go."I say as i walk away but I feel him grasp my wrist.

"Please Astrid."I flick his hand away lightly but enough for him to let me go.

"I'm tired Cameron. Can we not do this right now, we can talk later."He dosen't stop he just grabs my hand and turns me around.

"No Astrid I don't want to talk later I want to talk now."I push him away and glare at him.

"Talk."I say harder then intended but I just push it away.

"Why Astrid. Its been more then a month and all you say is I'm tired, yes I'm tired but what I'm tired of is not falling asleep next to you and not waking up to your soft snoring. All I want from you Astrid is I miss you too Cameron. I don't care if its not true but I just want to hear it Astrid."I groan out loud and run my hands through my hair and pulled at the ends.

"You know when I say it I mean it Cameron."I know I'm lying to his face but I just cant stand getting hurt again so I viciously pull at the ends of my hair but Cameron grabs my hand so I don't pull my hair out.

"Astrid."I cry my heart out and shove his hands away.

"Stop touching me Cameron."I reject his touch and walk behind the couch so we have distance.

"Astrid if you would just talk to me I wont touch you."I straighten out my outfit and soon feel my chest tightening.

I hold on to it and drop to the floor. 

"Cameron I cant breath."I say as I try to catch my breath.

My chest is tightening and my breath are becoming uneven. Cameron rushes to my aid and picks me up and lays my head on his knee.

"Breath Astrid I'll call the ambulance."He laces our fingers together but I don't push him away I squeeze his hand.

He takes out the phone and starts talking to the lady on the phone but I don't hear anything only the beat of my heart. I stare at the roof and watch the stars and feel myself calming down. The stars started lighting up the room making me sit up but soon get pushed back to the ground by Cameron.

"My thoughts are like stars. You don't know where they start and where they end. Only when the sun comes they all disappear. Your my sun Cameron and I'm the moon. We both have different lives. You make people happy where I make people tired."Cameron hangs up the phone but the lady's still talking to him.

"Astrid..."I pick myself up ignoring the pain in my chest and walk outside to where the view is from his moms house. I walk over to the edge and stand right at the corner having my feet hang off the ledge.

"Astrid please don't do it."I lift my arms in the air and smile.

"I've always wanted to know what it felt like to fly." I say as I spin around losing my balance and nearly falling off.

"Astrid I'm not joking get away from the edge."He says as he moves forward but I move one leg out so its in the air and over the edge making him stop in his track.

"Who said I'm joking."I face the city again and watch the lights. Every light reflecting someones life. Different colours, different personalities. Everyone's divergent and never the same.

"Astrid please."I shake my head and feel tears falling out of the corner of my eye.

"They say angels fly right."I turn around and face Cameron.

"Yes they do Astrid."He says with tears falling from his eyes.

"If I don't fly then what an I?"He shakes his head and moves a foot forward.

"I just don't know what to do anymore Cameron.I don't see anything when I look further into life. All I see is pitch black and I'm scared."I say as I face the city and slowly move my hand out like I could touch the lives and help them but I was one of the lives that need to be touched but I guess nobody was my cure.

"I'm scared as well Astrid because knowing that you aren't there for me, I just cant stand."He says as he approaches me slowly trying not to make me explode.

"I'm like a ticking time bomb Cameron. I could explode any minute and you wouldn't know. When I explode I take down everything in my path. I'm trying to get away from everyone so I just destroy myself and nobody else can you not see that. I want you to find a girl that takes your breath away when she smiles and not me. I want you to find a girl that will lighten your day up when she says one word, not me. I want you to be happy but when your with me I feel like I'm bringing you down with me and I don't want you to lose this amazing life you have right now. I'm holding you down Cameron and you know it."I say as I move inches over the ledge.

"Don't give up now Astrid. After all we've been through would go to waste."He cries out.

"It wasn't a waste because it was time I was spending with you and trust me every second felt like my forever."I say as I breath in the air.

"Astrid please."I shake my head and turn around to face him. He's on the ground in tears.

"I didn't miss you Cameron. It killed me not being near you. I don't like you Cameron."He sobs and holds his hands out as if he could grab me.

"I love you Cameron."I close my eyes and drift through the wind and this time nobody's going to stop me.

"Don't give me up."