White Lies ~~Cameron Dallas~~

Pt 6 L.O.V.E

Astrids POV

I woke up with someone laying behind me. I looked under the covers and saw I wasn't naked. I breathed out with relief then realize everything that happened last night.

~~Flashback~~

He slowly pulled away to look in my eyes but they were closed. I lowered my head and put it on his chest. He hooked his fingers under my chin forcing me to look in his eyes. Once I looked in his eyes all I could see was adore and care. I was expecting him to be angry and annoyed at me.

"Why would you say that." His eyes then showed a confused look. I turned away from his grip and looked out the window.

"I'd rather be alone, then play a supporting role." I could tell he was more scared then concerned.

He walked behind me and sneaked his arms around my waist frightening me a little. He relaxed his head on my shoulder and put it in the corner of my neck. we stayed in that position for around five minutes. Not talking, no nothing, just breathing to the beat of our hearts. That was until he broke the silence.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" I turned around so his arms were behind me. I nodded and he picked me up.

~~Flashback Over~~

I turned around and saw Cameron laying next to me. His beauty is out of this world. His jaw was as sharp as a knife. He looked vulnerable at this state, like a little child. I got up but stopped when he started shifting around. When he stopped I got up and walked to my bathroom. I jumped in the shower and started washing myself.

I jumped out of the shower and wrapped the towel around my body. I look in the mirror and see a broken girl who needs to be loved. My reflection starts taunting me, making me pull my damp hair. I start yelling at it for it to stop but it kept provoking me. I drop to the floor with tears in my eyes and loneliness in my heart.

"ASTRID OPEN THE DOOR." I cry into my hands but all I can hear is the voice repeating the sentence I hate with every inch of me.

"Its all your fault and you know it"

I started to believe ever little thing this person told me. I feel like this is all a joke. This is never going to end and now I know. Like she said. Me or Them. I crawled to the draw and got out the blade. Then to the door where the noise has stopped. Cameron must have gotten annoyed at me. I've lost him. I've lost everyone, loved ones, friends and most importantly...myself.

I started to fiddle with the blade. The art of this, is in your hands and on you wrist. It can go to distance till braking point. Stretching your mind till you lose it. The creativity stops when you cant handle it, that's when you go more deep. The blood you lose slowly chips your sanity. It tests your limits but you see, some people don't have limits so it takes them to no end, or till they end. We live in a funny world you see.

I put the blade on my skin and pushed it deep. All I felt was the pain that I've learned to love but as well hate. I Felt the blood drip to the floor. Every droplet losing my mind in this pleasuring delight. I'm losing my mind and I know it.

The door was dropped to the floor with and angry Cameron right behind it. I looked down with shame. He slowly walked towards me with care but I felt myself lose it. I hit the glass with my bear fists startling him but soon his eyes soon dropped with fear.

"Astrid look at me." I just carried on hitting the mirror. The blood was dripping through my hands dirty hands.

"ASTRID!" This time he said it more louder making me stop. I looked at my fists and felt my weak tears fall in the cuts making it sting. When the blood dripped to the floor I felt like it was in slow motion.

"It only takes two lonely people, to fuck L.O.V.E up and make it E.V.O.L."